Concentrating the Mind – by Ajahn Brahm

AjahnBrahm_ConcentratingTheMind Summary : We hope that this year will be a good one, because we've done all that we can. - Walls need to be built straight. Criticism and anger need to be balanced with acceptance and love.: Fault finding mentality is a habitual mind mode that's usually focused on finding mistakes. It's not wise because it gives us pain.: When we try to be positive and build up a sense of appreciation, it's easier to receive other people's love and happiness. When we're in a state of complaining, we lose all sense of peace, of calm, of this is life.:When you speak, always use words that find solutions and balance.When you use words of appreciation, your internal emotional world changes and the harmony between people improves. Anger is an anger eating demon. If you let it eat away at you, it will get worse. Instead, practice acceptance, which will lead to loving kindness and eventually, peace.: This evening's talk is all about emotional preparation before beginning samadi practice, meditation practice, and insight practice. Things like developing a warm heart, being grateful, and working towards resolutions which will be useful and beneficial to oneself and others. – The path of Buddhism relies heavily upon the emotional world. In order to clear the path for meditation, we must be in touch with our emotions and develop those emotions which are beneficial to us. When we have the incentive to do something about our problems, we can begin to practice meditation. Transcription U1 0:12 Like an overview of what it is, what it's heating, or where it leads to. And of course that's an overview. It takes a long time, sometimes many lifetimes to realize 1s it's. Sometimes when I give an overview, or when a man gives an overview of Buddhism like that, sometimes it does come across a bit intellectual or words. It does need to be explained. That what one describes here. If one describing experiences experiences they have to be described in words and concepts. But please do not forget that everything which is described has a meaning as a heart to it. Whether it's the practice of virtue, whether it's a practice of concentration, meditation or the rising of wisdom these are all experiences which can be realized by every individual. And once one realizes these, one explains them 1s in one's own words, using ideas, using concepts. But this path of Buddhism doesn't stop just on the intellectual level, which is words and concepts. In fact, it does rely a lot upon the emotional world. 2s I have noticed in my experience in teaching meditation a little general rule. It may be appear sexist to you, but I've noticed that it seems that women do have an easier time obtaining concentration, 1s whereas males have an easier time gaining wisdom. 1s And just a general feature from my own experience, it may be that my experience is limited, I don't know. But it seems to be a point towards a point behind that in order to actually concentrate the mind, one has to be very well in touch with the emotional world. To gain wisdom, one has to have a very clear mind and clear way of deducing what certain things mean. But I want to go this evening to this emotional world as a preparation for meditation. 2s Not just a preparation for meditation, but as a clearing away of problems in one's life. The Buddha did once say that the ground or the basic prerequisite retaining concentration is happy easeful state of mind. This happy easeful state of mind, again is a feeling, it's an emotion. It's a state of being inside the mind, inside the heart, a state of wellbeing, again, I've noticed that those people who have a devotional heart to them, again find it very easy to concentrate. Those people have a lot of joy in their hearts, a lot of happiness. 2s Have an easy time to meditate and become peaceful and concentrated. 1s Those people who develop loving kindness have an easy time to meditate, to become still. Those people with critical minds for finding minds have a hard time to meditate. Those people who think a lot and philosophies have a hard time to meditate. So if we wish to calm the mind down, make it very peaceful, we have to come to terms with our inner world, especially with our emotions, 1s and to develop those emotions which are beneficial to us and to somehow overcome or sidestep those emotions which create problems in our life and again in our life. If we wish to walk, follow this Buddhist path, to practice virtue, to gain a concentration, to establish wisdom, so we can become liberated, so we can actually become these enlightened beings I was talking about last week. 1s If we want to do this, we have to develop the heart as well as developing the head. 2s We have to get rid of the problems, the basic problems which stand in the way 1s of even concentrating. These are problems which every one of us are aware of in our lives. Their problems of anger, problems of criticizing, complaining, problems of fear, problems of 2s the day just endless. 2s So when we look at these problems, we have to find a way out of them, find a way to remove them, find a way to clear the path so we can walk upon it without any obstruction. And when we're clearing this path so that we can start to meditate the beginnings of this whole path of practice, 1s we have to have some incentive. 2s Incentive to do something about our lives, to clear up the problems. A lot of times that incentive only comes when the problems get so great. The emotional world becomes so unbearable that we finally decide to do something about it. Incentive is just great suffering. And then we realize that these things are problems. These things are something we should be dealing with. Whether it is getting angry so often, feeling fed up, having low self esteem. All of these things, one realizes are a problem to one's basic happiness in life and certainly are a problem and an obstacle to one's success. In meditation you try meditating when you're angry or when you're upset. It's almost impossible to gain any peace at all. You try and meditate when you got this thought finding mind. It's almost impossible to become peaceful, to become still, to get joy in the heart. 1s And so we have to realize these things, when taken to an excess, certainly are problems. Whether it's fault finding, whether it's anger, complaining, criticizing, getting into conflict, being too aggressive. These things are problems to our life and certainly problems to meditation. We have to do something about them. The incentive comes when we realize their problems. If we haven't got any incentive, then of course we won't even try to look for solutions. We think that it's natural be angry. It's natural to be for finding. What's wrong with being, for finding. 1s What's wrong with complaining? Is everything wrong in the world? What does it feel like in your heart when you're angry? What does it feel like in your heart when you're complaining? What does it feel like in your heart when there's nothing in the world you can respect or look up to as being really worthwhile? 2s What it feels like is what we call suffering. It's not a very pleasant state to be in. Please realize what it feels like whenever you're angry, whenever you complain, whenever you find fault with something, feel what it's like inside and then perhaps you'll have an incentive to do something about it. Once one has the incentive, there are many. What we call skillful means in order to overcome those obstacles to our happiness here and now and our obstacles to that happy state of mind which can lead to meditation the skillful means which talked about which are written about at length in Buddhism. These are the how to the tricks of the trade. 2s With fault finding mentality one can realize if one looks long enough that it's no more than a habit of the mind it's one way of looking at life not necessarily true when we have a fault finding mentality it looks to us that it is true when we look for faults. We can always see them and there is no end to the faults we can find in ourselves. In other people. In the society we live in and our friends everywhere we look we see faults if that is our state of mind I like to give the story many of you have heard it when we first started building our monastery at Serpentine 1s when we first started building our monastery I was involved very heavily with the building work I was involved in the building work because at that time we were very heavily in debt couldn't afford to employ anyone and so the market is where the builders. 3s I had to learn from scratch how to mix concrete, how to lay bricks, how to do plumbing, how to do electric work, how to put on a roof, just the whole works from beginning to the end. What was interesting, I found when I started to learn how to lay bricks because, as many people have found when they tried to build a barbecue or a small wall it looks very easy, but it's very difficult. 1s The bricks seem to have a mind of their own and even though you lay them exactly flat when you turn around and somehow they move. 3s And every time I found that the brick was out of line, I would remove it and start again. I was a perfectionist. And so I'd finish off my wall and even though all the bricks which were wrong, I would remove there'd be one or two bricks would slip for my attention. And when the water was dry and other bricks were around them, on top of them, beside them, when I could not remove them, I saw there was one or two bricks which were not level, which were actually acquired an acute angle. Instead of being horizontal, there were about 30 degrees from the horizontal. 2s And whenever I saw that, I became embarrassed. Ashamed of this water I had laid. When we first booked the monastery that used to have quite a few visitors come along and we used to take them to see what we were doing in our industry. We take them to some of the buildings. I would always make sure I took them to somewhere else, not of the building with the two bricks which were wrong. Because I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. Sooner or later, some people came to the monastery and I took them around and they saw that wall with the two bricks which were wrong. And they said, who built that wall? That's nice. And I had to say to them, can't you see those bricks which are wrong? 1s And they said, yes, we can see those bricks which are wrong but we can also see the 9998 other bricks which are perfect. 1s I could never see those other bricks which are perfect. All I would ever see when I looked at that wall were the two brick switch were wrong. 2s The strange thing, isn't it? Whenever there's a mistake, when everyone has a fault fighting mentality, I will always see the two bricks which were wrong. I will never see the vast number of other bricks which are perfect. 1s When that happened to me was like an insight into one of the skillful means 2s I realized just how the mind works in the way of finding fault. All you need to do, all you need to have is just a small mistake. And every time you look at that thing, that person, that problem, that war, that's all one would ever see the mistake. And the way the mind works is it either sees the mistake or it sees the success. 2s A usual mind can never see both at the same time. And so if it's in the fault finding mode, the mode which is looking for mistakes, the criticizing mode, it will go to that wall and it will go straight to those two bricks which were wrong. It wasn't see anything else. 2s And I realized, my wall, that this is not a very just not a very fair not a very wise way to look at walls, not a very wise way to look at people, not a very wise way to look at the world. This is continual fault finding sizing mentality. It's not wise because it gave me a lot of pain. Every time I went past my wall. I was very ashamed of it. I wanted to get a bulldozer in and so knock it over and start again. 1s People have given so much money and I've made a mess, I sucked it up. 3s Do you ever feel like that about life? Things which you've done because all you can ever see is just the two bricks which you've laid wrongly. It wasn't a very wise or very fair way of looking at life. After that, instead of finding fault with things I would notice is false. But I'd also look about what was right with things as well. Whether it's with a person, whether it was with the monastery I was with, whether it was with life of whether it was with myself. Instead of just looking at what was wrong. I take the time to deliberately ask myself yes, but what's right as well? 2s Some years ago, I remember visiting my family in London. As I was walking down the road, I saw two young men, probably about in the early twenties, were waiting for a bus. By the side of the road there was a garden wall which was only about, say, 3ft high. 1s Very convenient for sitting on. But the garden wall, instead of being flat on the top, it was curved around it and they were complaining. They say, Why do they make the wall like this? They should make it flat so it's easy for us to sit on. It was someone's garden wall. It wasn't a buzz stop. 2s But some people's minds are such that they'd always be finding faults no matter where they are, no matter what they were doing. Again, some time ago, I was traveling on a bus in Perth, sitting behind again to schoolchildren, maybe 1415, just that, out of school, listening to their conversation. Was complaining, putting down, saying what's wrong with themselves, with school, with life? 3s A very unfair way to look upon life. But not just unfair, but also very productive of suffering, of depression. Life is not good enough. School is not good enough. Life is awful. Life is horrible. It creates depression. It creates frustration, pain inside the heart. So much so that sometimes people believe it and go and kill themselves even 2s because one has this fork finding mentality. Okay? The wise way of going about this is to see both the false and the good. To see both. When one sees both, one has this wonderful sense of equanimity, 2s the sense of peace, the sense of this is life. 1s And there's nothing wrong. There's nothing which needs to be changed. My wall, actually, is quite all right. It's been there for many years. It manages to keep out the elements that's in the building. It keeps the roof up. That's good enough. 3s Also when we forgive the faults and we look for what is good, it brings us happiness and joy inside of our hearts. It makes life easier to live. It makes life more enjoyable. We develop what we call in Buddhism, what we call in life gratitude. 1s Gratitude is completely opposite and fault. Finding. Gratitude sees what is right with the world, sees what is right with the other person one is living with. Sees what is right with oneself and says, thank you. Marvelous. What a wonderful thing it is to be in a country like Australia. What a wonderful thing is to be in Perth. What a wonderful thing is to be in the Buddhist society. What a wonderful thing it is to be in this hall here. Okay, this dog is outside. Someone should fix up that dog. Call the council. Someone go outside and shoot him. Someone do this. Some will do that. What does that feel like when we're in that sort of mood? 1s What does it feel like when you say, Well. 2s It's not that loud outside the dog. It's a long way away. We can still sit here, we can hear the talk, we can still meditate, we can still become peaceful and silent. It could be better, but this is pretty good. It should have been here when we're in Magnolia Street years ago, in our first center. I remember once giving a talk they were actually listening to a talk in the back garden because it was too hot inside the house in the summertime. And as the monk was giving a talk in the back garden, the fellow next door decided to mow the lawn and no one could hear the talk at all. 3s What happens when we start to develop this like a positive state of mind? 1s It brings joy to the heart 1s and it brings a state of acceptance for the time being and it brings a state where we can actually meditate and become peaceful. 1s If this complaining 1s is something to be done, is something to be fixed up, there's work to be done. If we have a sense of gratitude and acceptance acceptance we can leave the faults for the time being. 1s And we can rest, we can be at peace. We can enjoy the moment if we complaining, we can never enjoy the moment. 1s Some people got such complaining minds, so they're always busy, always need to fix things was up. All these things to be done at home, to be done at work, to be done in the garden, fixing up the partner you're living with, fixing up yourself. Whenever can there be rest? Whenever can there be peace? Whenever can there be stillness? There can never be that. 2s There's so many things to be done in the world. 2s True, there's things to be done, but there's also time to rest as well. 1s The gratitude gives one the opportunity to stop, 2s to realize that there is much good in this world, it's much good in one's life. There's much peace already here in the heart. One can rest, one can stop, one can be at peace, one can enjoy 2s without that gratitude, without that turning away from criticism. I cannot live with one's selfie, I cannot live with other people, I cannot live anywhere. We will always be on the move. No place will be good enough for you, no person will be good enough for you. Even yourself won't be good enough for you. You'd always be running away. 2s In my monastic life. Quite early on, somebody told me this, and I made a resolution very early on, when I was a monk, that I won't ask to go anywhere. 1s I won't ask to go to another monastery. 2s If I'm sent anywhere, then okay, I'll go. But I'll never initiate where I'm going to stay. 2s Even coming here over eleven years ago, I never asked to come here. 4s And because they haven't asked, I'm still here. 3s But the advantage of that is there are times when you don't want to be here. There are times when you want to be somewhere else. The times when you want to run away. Everyone has those times. Maybe you might be experiencing that now in your life, in your job, wherever you are. I just want to run away. I can't stand this any longer. Stay. 2s Don't run away too easily. Stay. 4s Are you afraid? And the desire you want to run away actually leaves you. 2s If you run away every time you're unhappy, that becomes your habitual response. You never learn anything. 1s You never learn that the desire to run away, that fault finding actually changes and disappears after a while 2s because you cannot stand that wall, those two big if you have to sit in front of it and look at it every day, every day, every day sooner or later you see these other picks there as well. One of my favorite stories is for these two families. Two couples went for a cruise from Australia. I think they were actually heading to Canada in the middle of some great ocean. There was no wind and also their engine packed up. They were stranded in the middle of this huge body of water on the deck. They couldn't see land in any direction and the engine had packed up. The two men went downstairs to fix up the engine while the two girls were on the deck in the heat of the engine room, being frustrated, not being able to fix up the engine and the motor, the two men got into an argument. And the argument got worse and worse and worse until they were shouting at one another, brandishing their vehicle inches at one another. Eventually one fellow said, that's it, I'm leaving. 3s When one is angry and mad, one loses all sense of intelligence. And this fellow washed his hands, cleaned up, packed his bags and actually appeared on the deck with his suitcase. 2s The two and two ladies who can believe the ridiculousness of the situation. There was no land inside and they just broke up laughing. And the man, seeing that laughter, realized his stupidity and he went down to his cabin, unpacked his bag again, put on his work clothes and went down and helped fix up the engine. There was no place to escape, no place to go. How often that is in life, really. There's no place we can go. 1s If we really think of ourselves as being on a boat in the middle of an ocean with no place to go, we've run away so many times. 1s Instead of running away, we go down to the problem, we face it, we're how to deal with it. 2s We overcome it. The times in the monastery, this monastery, other monasteries. I can't stand any longer. I'm going instead of going. I stood my ground. I worked it through, work it out, see what we could do. 1s I've noticed all the time that thought, that feeling inside my mind, I want to go. I can't stand this any longer. It has always been a very biased, one sided state of mind I've been in. I've just seen a few faults. I've had no sense of gratitude at all, no sense of appreciation for all the other things which I've had. 1s When we only see faults and we have no appreciation, we always be on the move. Never at rest, never at peace. When we always on the move, we can never gain that piece of meditation. 1s So by stopping, by standing still, by standing our ground, and instead of running away, by working through the problems, especially by getting a wider, more balanced view of the problem, we actually develop the appreciation. 3s For the good bricks in the war, the appreciation for the good things and the person I'm living with, the appreciation for the job I'm working at, the appreciation of monastery I'm in 1s when once one can develop that skillful means one can live anywhere, one can be at peace anywhere. The external situation isn't so important anymore. And most importantly, if one can live in any monastery, 2s one can live with oneself. Because living with oneself is just the same as parts of oneself. I can't stand any longer. I want to get rid of this. I want to run away. I was talking about a yacht in the middle of the ocean. Here's the yacht, your heart and it's in the middle of the ocean. There's no place you can run 2s these things inside of you which you can't stand, which you're upset about, which you don't like. Eventually you can pack your bag out and think you're going to go up the deck and go somewhere else. Eventually you have to go back down the engine room with your heart and work them out. 2s Find a solution how one can be peaceful inside. Not running away, but facing up. Sometimes people say that becoming a monk is just running away. Come to the monastery and sit meditation there for a week, two weeks, a year, five years. There's no running away. In fact, in a monastery, there's just so little escape. You have to face up to yourself, 1s to your desires, to your aversions, to the quirks of your personality, to your whole emotional world. There's no escape anymore. 1s So we face up. We deal with some of these skillful means again. The first skillful means is not running away, but looking, seeing, investigating and then balancing the mind. 3s When we start to do this, when we start to stop that fort finding mentality, you start to develop like what we call, like, kind speech. 3s Unkind speech comes from the unkind heart. 1s The thought finding speech comes from the fort finding heart. And again, I've noticed that speech is by far the most 2s the greatest cause of pain, dish, harmony, problems with human beings these days in Australia anyway, we don't go around killing one another with machine guns or with mortars. But we can still cause much pain and much suffering by the way we speak to one another. Again, when we speak, how often do we use for finding words? And how often do we use words of appreciation? 3s When we're always using fork finding words? What does the other person hear? 3s When you hear fault finding words, what do you hear? What does it feel like in your emotional world inside? What's it like when someone tells you what's up, when they put you down? When they find fault with you? 2s And what's it like when someone actually appreciates you, praises you, says thank you, 2s which one would you prefer to receive? Knowing which one you prefer to receive, let that be what you give to others. 3s Just noticing the way people speak we do criticize much more than we ever praise. 2s If you want to find that out, just listen to somebody else the way they speak and remember in your heart 3s remember rather how much praise they give and how much fortifying they give. And you'll find that praise is really rare in this world and fault finding is a common way we use our speech. No wonder people find it hard to live with one another. No wonder they find it hard to live with themselves. When the way we speak to others becomes the way we speak to ourselves as we speak to others, that's the way we think to ourselves as well. I've noticed that people with positive attitudes towards others. 2s We do actually appreciate other people also have a very good relationship themselves those people are angry towards others will always fought finding critical. Putting another person down you find out in being my petitions bike talking with people. Finding out how they're feeding inside. What their problems in life are in my role as a council I find out that those people have that very fair attitude to themselves. If they're critical to others, they're very critical to themselves if they're highly critical towards others, they're highly critical to themselves. That same attitude, that same emotional source 2s shines on themselves just as it shines on others. And what a horrible world that is to live in which is always fault finding, always critical, which never praises, never appreciates 2s that causes a lack of harmony between people. It causes the problem between one cell. 2s Notice it and then we can start to do something about it. What we do about it is using wisdom, understanding to praise a little bit. Realize there is something to praise in there as well. There is something to be grateful on inside. When we realize something to be grateful of inside, what we're actually doing is we're starting to practice, like loving kindness. 2s Loving kindness is accepting, not criticizing. Okay? Sometimes people will say, well, there's so many arguments about accepting. If you accept all these people, then just don't get even worse. People need to be told off. Walls need to be built straight. You can't just have bricks sliding any old way. When I'm building a wall, it might be okay if it's the wall of the monastery, but if it's my house, which I've paid 40,000, 50,000, $60,000 for, it's just too much. 3s It's okay to criticize now and again, but also appreciate as well. Find a balance of things which need to be changed and things which need to be accepted. If one hasn't got that balance, then life becomes problematic. 2s Again from my experience, maybe I hope that many of you can see this, that our lives are out of balance. There's too much criticism, there's too much anger, there's too much thought finding. And it's not enough acceptance, there's not enough 1s joy, there's not enough appreciation of what we have. When we practice something like loving kindness, it is appreciating. Accepting lovingkindness appreciation is working on the emotional world of the human being. All the criticizing comes from the intellectual world. And we do need as human beings to also develop the emotional world. Loving kindness is being able to accept, embrace, no matter what 1s is wrong with the other person. 1s The words which my father told to me as a young boy, when he took me aside, he said I was only 14 at the time, 15 somewhere around that age, he took me aside and said the door of my heart would always be open so the door of my house would always be open to you, no matter what you do. In the words he said, the door of my house, us will always be open to you, no matter what you do in your life. 1s No matter how I turn out, no matter what I do, good, bad, indifferent 2s I'd always be his son. He would never shut the door against me. His house was also my house. That's the words he said. But it meant much more than that to me, as I realized over the years, because it was a statement which he said which stuck in my mind as being something important, something which I wasn't old enough at the time to really appreciate and understand. But as I reflected upon that, kept it in my mind, thought about it meditated, it came very clear to me that that statement was an expression of what in Buddhism we call 2s undifferentiated, no strings attached, loving kindness. 2s Because what it meant was not just the door of his house will be open to me no matter what I did, but the door of his heart will always be open for me. And the most important words were no matter what I did, no matter how it turned out. In other words, his acceptance of meat. 2s Was absolute, 1s was without any criticizing, without any fault finding, just pure acceptance. The door of my heart always open to you, no matter what, what you do. 1s Other times he tell me off if I did something wrong. He had a balanced heart. But by saying that, by giving me that acceptance, 1s it actually encouraged me to live up to the trust. 2s Whenever anyone does give you what we call undifferentiated 1s lovingkindness. Full acceptance no matter what you are. No matter what you do. No matter what you have done or will do in the future. What that actually does to us as an experience 1s that inspires so much that we actually want to please that person's and if that person has accepted us without any forkliding mentality. We want to live out that trust. 2s Now, when we say that towards another being, and hopefully we can say that towards another being, the door of my heart is always open to you, no matter what you do, no matter what you have done or will do in the future, which is an acceptance without any strings. 1s It's an expression of Pure love, 1s pure loving kindness, pure matter in the Buddhist terminology. 2s And The Result Of that, it brings happiness towards the other person and happiness towards one cell. I can let the other person in. Not only can I say that to another person, I can say that to the situation one is in. 1s The door of my heart is open to you no matter how you are at the moment. Even if one, say, an extreme example, is in great pain 2s to be able to say to that pain, door of my heart is open to you no matter how much you hurt. 2s Imagine what that does to you. 1s Maybe you think that's a bit hard to do, but sometimes people in extreme pain when nothing else can work, when they tried everything else, when the back is against the wall, it's amazing just what the mind, what the hearts can actually rise up and do. 2s Sometimes people do that instead of fighting the pain. They accept it. They bring it in rather than keep pushing it out. The door of my heart is open to you no matter what you are like, no matter how unpleasant you feel. 7s What that actually does when you do something like that is that the pain just disappears straight away. 1s Because the problem with pain is not the physical feeling, it's the rejection of it. The pushing away, the struggling, trying to find a place where that pain isn't. 4s It's running away. 1s If ever one stops running away from pain, the pain disappears. This is an experience which certainly I've had, other people have had in the past 1s not only pain, but any other unpleasant situation one finds oneself in. If one can act with loving kindness towards that situation. Door of my heart's open to you no matter what you're like. 3s This peace comes in the heart 1s again. This is an irrational 2s thoughts and irrational movement of the mind, rather not a thought. It doesn't start from the head. As soon as you start from the head, you start thinking of all the things what if I accept this pain? I don't do anything about it. It's going to get worse, I'm going to die, I'm going to be crippled, I'm going to have terrible problems in the future. I don't do anything about this situation. It's going to get worse. This is all about the intellectual movement, 3s which is okay, but I'm talking about another type of attitude, another type of response, the situation, that type of response which isn't for finding, which isn't pushing away, but which is accepting, which is embracing, which is bringing in. 1s Rather than pushing away. 1s This is an emotional response, a wise and useful emotional response, because it brings peace and happiness in the heart. It brings harmony with whatever one's experienced seeing present or unpleasant. 1s And it brings this wonderful sense of being at ease 1s with the world. It's acceptance rather than pushing away. 1s Again, there's another lovely story I like to tell about this demon 1s who came into this 2s Heaven realm. In Buddhism, we also have, like Heaven realms, a temporary abiding. It's not like a heaven in Christianity where one goes to and stays there for the rest of one's time. In this particular Heaven realm, there was the abode of the heavenly being. And this heavenly being I had friends, courtiers, ministers, this king of this Heaven realm happened to be away on business one day when this seaman came into the palace, walked straight up the aisle to the throne of the heavenly being and sat down on the chair on the side. 1s As soon as it sat down on the chair, the throne of the King of the Heavenly Realm, the other people in that building started to get angry and upset. Get out of here. You don't belong. 2s You shouldn't be in here. And at that the grew each bigger. He grew a little bit more ugly. His language got worse and the smell coming off him got even harder on the nose to bear. The people in the room got even more upset and more angry. Get out of here. If you don't move quickly, you'll be in trouble. That the demon grew bigger. Every unkind word, every unkind deed, every unkind thought. The demon grew an inch bigger, more ugly, more smelly. And the language was more offensive. 2s And they just got angry and angry and angry. And this has been going on for quite a while. And this time the demon was huge and so ugly, so smelly and his language was really bad, really coarse. Realm came in to the hall and the reason why he was king was because he was wise. 2s And he was kind. As soon as he saw the demon, he said, welcome. Why have you waited so long to come and visit me? Have you had anything to drink yet? About something to eat? Some sandwiches? 2s Kind word, every kind deed, every kind thought. Which the king of his realm gave towards that demon. The demon grew in, each smaller, a little bit less likely. The smell eased and the language got better. When the other people in the room saw this, they started running around, getting sandwiches, getting cushions. Someone gave him a foot massage. Someone got some fans. Someone got a Mahita. Every kind acts of body, every kind acts of speech, every kind act of thought. The demon grew smaller and less offensive. And they were just so kind and courteous. In no time at all, the demon shrimp to his original size. They didn't stop there. They just carried on. And they're laid it on so thick with kindness and goodness, the vehement eventually shrunk completely away. 1s And that was a story which the Buddha told in the Udana about the demon which vanished away. He said that Dima was an anger eating demon. 1s The more anger you fed it, the worse it got. 3s Can you recognize anger eating demons in your life? 2s The more anger you give it, the worse it gets. The anger eating demons are only dealt with through loving kindness, through acceptance. 1s Come in here. The door of my heart is open to you. No matter how bad you smell, no matter how bad you speak, no matter how ugly you are, 2s the anger eating demon goes 1s with loving kindness, with acceptance. Pain is an anger eating demon. You get angry at pain in your body. Does it get better or does it get worse? Get out of here. You don't belong. How long have I got to stand here to get better or get worse? 3s Pain is an anger eating demon. 1s There's so many anger eating demons in this world. It's good to notice some of them and don't feel with anger, feeding with kindness, feeling with acceptance and they disappear. 2s When they disappear, what's left but peace but harmony? This state of mind, which is an emotional state of mind it's the feeling in the heart rather than the thought of ease, peace, stillness, happiness, contentment. 2s When one is content, then one can watch the breath. When one is content, then one could fill the mind. When one is content, one can make the mind so clear. One can start to see 2s the way things really are. We do need to develop the heart first of all, we do need to find ways of overcoming the for finding critical angry mentality inside device. 3s Sometimes people think Ah, yes, great. And they only act when the anger is there in their heart. When the anger arises, now I do something about it. When the fault finding arises, now I do something about it. 2s Once the sickness is there, 4s no one can do about it. In order to avoid anger, to avoid finding, to avoid this critical state of mind when it's got to work, 1s when the mind is feeling reasonably at ease, once one is in the Fort Friday mood I can never do this. Patches of loving, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance 1s to stand back first of all, I need to be apart from this inside the mind before I can see it. 2s If one has got a stone in front of one's eye, it looks like a mountain and I cannot see beyond it, can't not see around it it's right in front of one's eye. If I can take that stone and put it 10 meters in front of you, you can see it's only a stone, it's not such a big thing. I can see around it, I could see other things. 1s If one has got anger in one's mind, it's like having a stone right in front of one's eye. If one has got a fault finding critical state of mind it's right in front of one's eye. One cannot be anything else. 2s I need to develop the states of of kindness. Acceptance. Appreciation 2s when the faults aren't very evident. When things are going well in one's life 1s when the object or the reason for one's anger rejection is not right in front of one develop loving kindness. Develop acceptance appreciation 4s do it on those quiet moments 1s when if you like. One thinks one doesn't need it someone is already feeling quite good and quite happy. Quite at peace that is the time to develop appreciation. 1s For example, if it's someone you're living with someone you know your enemy when they're right in front of you it's very hard to exercise forgiveness, it's very hard to exercise appreciation. When they are right in front of you, all you see is their fault. They're too close it's. 1s But when one is away, when one is apart, when those the source of the anger, the source of the fortifying, the source of the criticism is awaiting you and you're feeling in a reasonably state of mind mind a reasonable, good mind, then think of them. 4s If one is trying to love one's enemies, whether enemies are people or whether those are things, 2s it's much easier when they're not around then to develop kind thoughts, kind words, appreciation than to be able to say to them when they're at a distance the door of my heart is always open to you. As they say in the Chinese proverb love the tiger. But at a distance 2s at a distance, it's much easier. And once one builds up that resource of appreciation, the attitude of the mind which can accept, which can appreciate then one will find when that person is there before you which is so much easier. Yeah. To establish that mood in the mind. It's like a person training to play sports. You have to do the pushups, you have to do the training. You have to exercise the body so that when the game is actually, actually on and played, you have trained yourself. You're prepared, you're ready. 2s You cannot train on the football field. There's too many other things going on. Then train at home, train away from the problem. And then when you face a problem, you'll be prepared and you'll be able to deal with what needs to be done. As they say in another Chinese proverb, instead of complaining about darkness, light a candle. 2s That's a proverb which I always remember because 1s so often, again, complaining mind means that we're not doing anything. We're just moaning. We're just complaining. We're just criticizing. It makes the matters worse. It never makes any light when we complain about darkness, but we can always light a candle. A candle may not create more than just a small area of light around the wick. That's something. We're starting. We're getting there. 2s Rather like a candle to complain about darkness 1s and that means that we're going in the right direction as far as our gentiles was concerned. He said by complaining I think I said this not so long ago even can't stop now it's like having an itch on the head and scratching the bottom 2s that's what complaining is like because the problem never goes away the problem isn't with the other person. Isn't with the situation. Isn't with what's outside of you it's inside us here. If the itches on the head. That's where you got to scratch. You can't scratch elsewhere I think the problem is going to go away 1s so we look inside of our heart and see what is stopping us being peaceful, what is stopping us being joy inside the heart what is stopping us having this happy state of mind which in Buddhism we need to develop so that meditation and combined so we can become peace but we can become concentrated. 1s Where the happy state of mind is developed through practicing loving kindness. Whether it's practice developing this appreciation, this devotional positive attitude towards what one is experiencing. However ever this developed, we do need to develop the emotional world 1s as well as the intellectual criticizing world. It's so easy to find fault. It's so easy to destroy, which is what finding fault is. It's so easy to get a bomb and block. This hall can only take a few seconds. But for those people who have been involved in building this hall, you know how many years it has taken to put this together? 2s You look upon it it's too hot, not big enough, not the right shape. This is wrong. That is wrong. It's so easy, isn't it, to pull down. It's so hard to build up. 1s Think of that when you're talking to people for all that they've done. It's so hard to do anything 1s and it's so easy to criticize. 2s If you can only develop gratitude 1s and a sense of acceptance more, 1s then people will be more willing to try and live up to high standards, praise and actually encourages us. 3s I was a school teacher before I became a monk. I remember a story where there was 1s not a story. It's actually a group of experiments which were done which are very positive in the results. Is that the difference between what these are called positive reinforcements as a teaching method and negative reinforcement as a teaching method. The negative reinforcement was every time you made a mistake, you were punished 1s physically, emotionally, whatever it was, you were told by the teacher that you've made a mistake, you've done it wrong. 1s That was emotional, that was negative reinforcement. The other type was called positive reinforcement. Every time you made a mistake, every time you did something wrong, no one said anything, no one did anything. 2s Every time you did something correct, you did the problem properly, 1s you got it right. The teacher would let you know, give you a hug, give you a presence, would give you this possible positive reinforcement back. Say well done, marvelous, tremendous, great. 2s And even with schoolchildren, it was found very quickly, very conclusively, that positive reinforcements. With positive reinforcement, the children learn far quicker, they solve problems 1s much better, they learn faster. With negative reinforcement, the knowledge was gained slowly. Not just slowly, it was gained with resentment as well. 2s Sometimes people stop learning because it got so fed up with the punishment, so fed up with the negativity of the school. 2s This is where children and how much more would it work with human beings who are adults? 2s Positive reinforcement. If one gives positive reinforcement to someone else, they actually learn the task much quicker. Instead of finding fault with someone when they do something wrong, 2s accept. Let it go when they do something right, praise. Give positive reinforcement back. Whether it's a hug, whether it's a thank you, whether it's a presence, whatever it is, you'll find that the person will grow in the way, which is good much faster. 1s So you see the criticism. Negative reinforcement. Putting down this negative state of mind not only doesn't work 1s very fast, it doesn't produce the result one really wishes it to produce. But it also creates this 2s negativity in the mind. This pain in the mind. There's heavy lack of ease inside of our mind. It's not a joyful state of mind to live in. 1s And so maybe to end this old year with all the faults which may have been in it by forgiving letting go. Not carrying anything from the past year into the new year and in the new year to try and develop a sense of loving. Kindness. Acceptance the door of my heart is always open. No matter what I experience 1s the appreciation of oneself. People. One lives with the circumstances. One finds oneself in 2s developing positive reinforcement towards oneself and others. Every time that you do a good deed, a kind deed, a generous, warm deed, praise yourself, acknowledge you give that positive reinforcement, you'll find you will grow that attitude in the mind, you'll will become more and more prevalent inside of you. 1s It's difference between watering weeds or watering flowers? Watering weeds is criticism. Watering flowers is appreciation place. 2s And that will come out in your words, in your acts. You'll be someone who acts kindly, generously, warmly. And you will be someone who doesn't speak harshly. It doesn't act harshly. You'll find yourself fulfilling all of the rules of virtue, whether it's the Five precepts, eight Precepts or 227 precepts. Why is it the Five Precepts of a Buddhist so hard to keep? 2s Because if the heart isn't ready, 2s you may, will and want to keep the Five Presets. So any rules of virtue? If the heart isn't ready, one cannot do it. This is going to the emotional world. The Source 1s purify the Source purify the heart. Be someone who has appreciation, kindness, goodwill and who starves the critical mind. 1s Who starts a fort fighting mind and tries another way. It brings happiness to yourself and happiness to others. And that is the way of Buddhism, that which creates happiness for oneself and happiness to others. 2s So I'm going to end this talk this evening about some of the emotional preparations before we actually go on to things like samadi practice, meditation practice, and insight practice. Just basics of living a happy life. 1s Are there any questions about the talk this evening? 6s Any questions or comments on the talk? 2s Okay, I'll just make an announcement for this evening. Being New Year's Eve here in the Buddhist Center, as we do every year, we usually stay up, monks stay up here until midnight when we do some auspicious chanting to welcome in the New Year this evening's program. What will happen now is, after we've paid respect for the Buddha damn Sanga, we can go into the meeting room next door and have a cup of tea and have a chat. At 10:00, we can come back in here, those of you wish to stay, to do some more meditation, and we can do meditation maybe for 30 minutes, 1s and walking meditation outside, and then sitting, meditation here, and then walking meditation. So if we can do 30 minutes sitting, 30 minutes walking, 30 minutes sitting, 30 minutes walking until midnight, if you wish to join that time, have a cup of tea inside the meeting room next door, then please do so. But as you're coming in or going out, please be quiet in here, because we want to try and keep this hall here as a place for meditation between 10:00 and just before twelve. That way we'll be bringing in the New Year in a very good, noble, useful, purposeful way, 1s using our time wisely. 2s Again just 1s because something which a friend of mine told me. He was staying with a very well known in Thailand, a very famous, powerful monk who was in excellent medical school, meditator, and had psychic powers as well, could read other people's minds. This American monk, when he was staying with this monk who had the psychic powers, one day when he was meditating, instead of watching a breath, which is what he's supposed to do, he decided to fantasize. He got into this sexual fantasy and he said that it was very easy to keep his back straight and keep very aware of thinking about sexuality. It was only afterwards he thought, oh, my dear, what's my teacher going to say? Because he was sure his teacher could read his mind and he felt very scared. Now, what do you think a teacher would do? Would he find fault? Would he criticize? 2s He was so scared what a teacher would say that when his teacher actually caught him and saw him, all he said was, that's just wasting time. 3s Not putting the fellow down, not criticizing in, but just wiping out that such a thing was just wasting time when it could have been doing something more useful. 1s And so even this evening between ten and twelve, don't waste time. If I wish you to develop the heart, this is an opportunity for doing some walking meditation, sitting meditation here in the war, if one finds it's a bit too much for one, then go and have a cup of tea in the meeting hall. But please keep this area quiet. And at 12:00 we'll be doing the auspicious chanting again. There's a symbolic entry into the next year 2s that be at 12:00. If you can stay for some of it or this part of it, you're always welcome. 1s So you can actually pay the flexible damage now and then, if you wish, you can go and have a cup of tea or whatever you need today. 86s Many new years have gone past in my life. Yeah. 2s We go past so quickly. 1s And this is always a time when we reflect. 1s We spend just a few moments looking at the past. 2s We look at our successes and failures in the past year. When we look at that which we've done, which has succeeded, we don't take it for granted. 1s We remember them. We give ourselves a pattern, the back. And we also encourage ourselves to maintain that which we look back upon and feel proud of, feel good at. We maintain those good thoughts, good words, good deeds. We try and improve and make them even better. Those things we look back upon, the past year which have been our failings remember that we're human beings with imperfections. We can expect failures now and again. But by expecting them, by accepting them, we do all try and urge ourselves generally wisely to do better next year. 2s It is useful to make resolutions as long as they're wise. Resolutions. Resolutions which we can actually attain, which we can actually work towards and reach not impossible goals, but real goals and goals which are going to be useful for us and other people in this world. Goals such as being kinder, more gentle, more compassionate, wise beings. Beings who develop more carefulness and mindfulness in the world. We tread more gently on every step through the year. Treading gently so that we neither hurt ourselves nor hurt others but that we progress more and more on the path of Buddhism. And we know when we're progressing, when things in our lives become more peaceful, more joyful, more easy 1s not the ease of laziness, ease inside the heart. 2s Where our life is less of a burden, the ease of being free from afflictions, liberated from that which causes us suffering, which causes us problems, 1s and at the end of each year can only look back and think I've tried my best, I've done all that I can. And that indeed that I am just a little bit further on to liberation, a little bit closer to freedom, a little bit nearer to the goal of enlightenment, then we can feel happy, we can feel at ease. And indeed, when it's our last New year, when it's our last day, our last breath in this body, if we can only then look back upon our life and think, I've done the best I can, I've lived a noble, a good, a fine life, a life full of virtue, for the compassion, full of wisdom. Then when we look back with that realization, without knowledge, without understanding, it brings us great peace and happiness in the heart. Even though we may not have reached the final goal of enlightenment with Nibana, at least we've made progress. We've done all we can, we've done our best. 1s And that if it's the end of a day, if it's the end of a year, if it's the end of a life, if you can look back with that thought in our mind, it gives us great peace and great happiness. 4s We look back upon what's gone past. We look forward to what's going to wish to achieve we wish to attain in the future. And we also look at the present moment. It's in this present moment now, when we can actually work, when we can actually perform, when we can actually achieve the goals of our future, 2s when we pass from one year to the next, sometimes we wonder, well, one day is the same as the next. Tomorrow, January 1, 1994, is not much different than December 31, 1993. But it is different. I hope it's different. We are older, but I hopefully we're also wiser. We're also 1s more pure in our hearts. We're more virtuous, we're more clear, we're more wise. 2s Hopefully we are growing in a good way, we're developing, becoming better human beings for our own happiness and happiness of the world around us. And if we can notice that one day is not the same as the next but one day is one step closer to the goal, closer to purity, closer to freedom, closer to this happiness we call freedom, then the day is well spent. And this is the reason why we've encouraged each other to come here this evening so that this last day of the year, when we spent listening to the teachings, doing some chanting earlier on, practicing meditation, having discussions about interesting subjects connected with Buddhism, then we can look back upon the last few hours of 1990, 3 hours which have been well spent. 1s And when we finish, 3s it brings us a sense that we haven't wasted our time. We've done that which is worthwhile, done that which is useful. And we know that that will bring happiness in our hearts. All that is good, all this wonderful which we perform will have its results, will bring forth its foot both now and in future. Every good act, every good deed, every good thought is that which brings us happiness. So what a wonderful way to end one year and being in the next by doing that which produces happiness. 1s And it's not just happiness for ourselves. This is not a selfish path because whatever brings happiness in your heart is that which will bring happiness towards other beings. Even a Buddhist sat under a tree and became enlightened for his own happiness. But that was the cause of the happiness of untold millions, billions to being. 2s The kind, good, mindful, wise actions which you've done this evening will bring forth happiness for yourself and also happiness for others. This is why it's a worthwhile thing, no wonderful thing. To the end of one year and the beginning of a new year. So we remember the path of woodson and we determined that we will 1s practice this path as best we can for our sake and for the sake of the people we live with and for the sake of others. If you look in the world, there is as much which causes us disturbance. So 1s the amount of pain and suffering in the world and sometimes there is a feeling inside of us. What can I do about it? How can I help? What can I do to serve or to lessen the pain? Human beings and in the animal world and in the natural world of this planet Earth how can I help? 1s And one of the best ways, one of the most effective ways and one of the most wonderful ways we can actually do something we can actually help is making our own heart pure. If we learn how to live simply, we can learn how to help planet so that we don't take so many of its resources so quickly. If we can learn how to be kind inside our heart, then we won't create anger, aggression and violence. We won't encourage that in others. If there's kindness in our own heart, if we can develop forgiveness for all those people who have hurt us in the past, all those people who have created problems in our life, if we can forgive, 1s then we can encourage others to also practice that forgiveness. So old feud can end, an old plane can be forgotten. So we can go into the new year with no baggage from the past, just not carrying old resentments, old arguments, all differences. And we can be beings like it's. The similarly which the Buddha used for the other hats, the night beings like swans, like swans who glide through the air very lightly with no baggage, they fly wherever they will, is always above and outside and beyond the world, peace free. 3s It is now the New year. We're going to now do some auspicious chanting, if you can just sit quietly just for a few more moments as we do this traditional chanting, which is our way of wishing that this next year and the years that follow all the time in the future will bring forth happiness and progress in the path of freedom and release. 411s What time? I can't teach.