Episode 142

August 23, 2025

00:58:48

Higher Criticism

Higher Criticism
Ajahn Brahm Podcast
Higher Criticism

Aug 23 2025 | 00:58:48

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Show Notes

This talk is about how to deal with criticism in a wise and positive way, and why people often react negatively to criticism. We tend to take criticism personally because we identify with our ideas, views, and sense of self. It's important to have a more malleable sense of self and be open to change in order to be more receptive to criticism.

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Episode Transcript

This evening's talk is on the higher criticism, which means the higher frequency criticism is what you receive. In other words, how to deal with life or people you know when you're at the end of a criticism, a rebuke telling you off, telling you're doing something wrong. And how do we deal with that in a wise, positive way? And what does it really mean? Why is it that people get angry? They get stubborn? Because when people don't know how to deal with criticism, it means that errors aren't fixed. Sometimes stupidity just keeps on going and just the whole world suffers because people just don't know how to listen. I don't know how to filter. Just, you know, what is a fair criticism for what is just like a personal attack. And so today I'm going to talk about that, but it's also going to reveal, I hope, you know, some of the underlying reasons, the psychology of why we get resistant to the advice of others. And you know why that is. Uh. Because of our silly egos and our identification with our pride, and is how that is a great obstacle for growth, the great obstacle to finding truth. And obviously that when there's no truth being found, there's all the consequences of ignorance, delusion, stupidity, which creates a lot of suffering for yourself and suffering for other people. So it's how to deal with criticism. The problem sometimes is that when someone criticizes us, sometimes they catch us on a wrong mood, a wrong time, and we're not really open to it. But for many of us, even if it is the right time, even if it is fair criticism, and even if someone is really having your best interests at heart, still we don't know how to deal with it. And I will pause there, because now, sometimes when, you know, we do criticize others or when we use this form of mutual help, it really should be like criticism coming from compassion and from really wanting the best for everybody. It's not just wanting the best for me, it's not wanting the best for them. As I keep on saying, it's wanting the best for us. And sometimes when people don't accept criticism, it means that know very often that we're afraid of speaking out when no, we really do need to speak up. Sometimes personally, doing something which is really going to create a lot of harm for themselves or others, and we don't say so. I was reading in the newspapers about the debate about mandatory reporting of child abuse, which is now what I'm meaning here about, you know, criticizing, bringing it up. And sometimes people feel like, am I going to harm or hurt someone? Am I going to sort of stop? Um, you know, people actually reporting this in confidence to, you know, their religious leaders or their social workers? It's a complicated thing. But again, one of the biggest fears is like the fear, the lack of openness to bringing up these things in the first place, because often any type of criticism is not really accepted quite fairly enough. And there's also the criticism which we have for religions, because sometimes if we criticize the religion, we think, oh my goodness, we're going to offend somebody. And we all know what happened with those cartoons, uh, against the, uh, the Islamic religion. And I've often actually said even in public that, you know, of all people in this world, I think it should be religious leaders, you know, should be the hardest to offend, should be the most open to sort of criticism and, uh, even sort of negative criticism because religious leaders, we hope, are devoted to finding out the truth, that that's the main aim in life and that the only way that we can actually trust that we're on the path to finding, like a truth is actually to now be open to criticism, be open to being challenged, because that's the only really way you can actually make sure that you're on the right path, because it's so easy to delude oneself. So I'm really very open to actually to, you know, having, uh, people being. Empowered, encouraged and free at a fairly criticized religions, just as we fairly criticize politicians. And my goodness, those politicians, they must have such thick skins what they get in the newspapers, in the media. My goodness, you have to be just so you know. Thick scowled. I'm sure if they did, uh, some anatomy autopsy experiments on people like John Howard and Mr. Bush, their skulls were probably about a centimeter thicker than sort of other people's skulls after so many years in politics. But certainly their ears must have been very good about selective listening, because sometimes what they hear is very, very, very unpleasant. And sometimes you put yourself in their position and sometimes it, you know, it's intolerable. Sometimes I wonder how they can actually survive like that. But anyhow, that's some other people. We're talking about ordinary human beings now. And when we criticize, what is our usual reaction to that? And why is that? A lot of times that as soon as somebody criticizes the points out in a possible fault, very often we just don't even listen in the first place. And because we don't even listen, we actually stopping the opportunity for actually maybe improving ourselves, lessening our delusion, finding more possibilities for happiness, finding opportunities for reconciliation with people who we fell out with and living a more happy, more peaceful, more tolerant life simply because we just don't listen when somebody criticizes us. Why actually is that? Now, sometimes it is because we know very often now that the criticism is always taken actually personally, as if you know that that is an attack on so-called me. And that is the biggest problem here, that when we associate our actions and our deeds as being a fixed, permanent me, a self, and one of the most important parts of the Buddhist path, especially on meditation, is keeping on looking at this thing we call the ego. Now what we take ourselves to be now the self. And the more we actually investigate this and we weaken it, we have like a much more softer sense of self instead of this brittle self which even the slightest little bit of criticism, you know, creates this amazing reaction. Which is out of all proportion. Now to the situation. Uh, so we can actually develop now this sense of narrower instead of a fixed identity, a solid identity which needs to be protected at all costs, a much more soft, malleable, sort of, you know, sense of who we are or our identity, where we fit in, what our group is, and that way that we can become more open sort of to criticism because often, like we identified us with, you know, our views, our ideas, who we think we are. That's very often what makes us now. I am a Buddhist now, I am a Christian. I am a liberal. I am a a a right wing Nazi or whatever else you think you are. Sometimes that when we make those sort of assumptions and those assumptions are very, very deep, the sense of self, the sense of who we are a lot of times is that we're unwilling to change, and it's an unwillingness to change, that unwillingness to accept that our sense of self will always be sort of evolving, changing, never fixed. And it's good to be changing. It's good never to be fixed. You feel much more free that way. And for there's one story which is an old story from the Buddhist texts, which are very rarely do I mention here. It's a simple story, but it's, you know, it's stood the test of many, many centuries. And it's very indicative of why it is that people get so stubborn. Sometimes it just won't listen. And it's the story of these two people, two poor villagers who decided to go sort of a long distance away to try and find their fortune. And they know they heard that there was this abandoned town. Then, you know, when the people abandon the town, it might find something there. So they went into this abandoned town. Not quite sure why. No. People just left this ancient city. And while they were walking there, they found some hemp. Now the hemp, they have this little reed, and they strip off the bark, which is like a fiber which you can use for these days. Making rope in those days, like making thread in order to make some hemp and thread just similar, but not quite the same to the type of, uh, fabric we use in jeans. So they found this discarded no hemp, which no one wanted. That would be worth a few bob, as they say. So they both collected it all up, and they started carrying the bundles of hemp. And then after a short while, someone found some hemp and thread. And obviously the thread knows what you want hemp for is likely to make it into thread. So one of the guys said, oh, you know, I could throw my hemp away now and take the the thread instead. But his friend said, nah, you know, I've already sort of made this into a parcel. Yeah, this'll do me. And so one changed for a better, uh, commodity while the other one kept the old one. And after a short while, then they found some hemp and cloth. The guy who changed, first of all, would change again. The other guy said, nah, my old bunch of hemp is good enough. And then they found some flax, which is used to make linen. The guy who had the hemp and cloth said, nah, I don't need this. I'll take the flax. It's much more valuable. The guy who still had the bundle of hemp said, no, this is good enough for me. And they had this whole series where one fellow would change from hemp to hemp and thread to hemp and cloth, to flax to linen, thread to linen. And then they found some silver, and then they found some gold. And because one guy just would not change. One guy arrived home with just a bundle of hemp, where his friend arrived home with a bundle of gold. And I said, the guy who came back with a bundle of gold was very well received by his family and friends. But the guy who came back with a bundle of hemp, who did not give satisfaction or pleasure to anybody. Now, that was like an old simile which the Buddha gave, and it was specifically aimed at why we never want to change our views and ideas. Why is it that when we have some sort of idea in a view, why is it was so resistant to changing it when there's something better comes along? It's fascinating. The reason is because now, once you own something, that's the hemp I found it almost like becomes you and that's me. And it's like some of me is dying and I have to get another self, another identity. And for a lot of people, you know, you can maybe do that when you're young, but when you old know, sort of, you know, this Buddhism is good enough to me. This Christianity is good enough. To me, this, whatever else it is, is good enough for me. Why are we so resistant to change? And you can see what happens. Sometimes there are very better products, better ideas. Now, because that was no simile, right? In the earliest parts of Buddhism, you can see what a real Buddhism is all about. Now, if you have any idea of your early insights, it always is intrinsically open to change. If you find a better one, the Buddha says, go for it and don't just hold on to something you believe before. When you find evidence to the contrary. That's why I've often said no, just as an almost like a motto. The two types of religion found in the world. The one which bends the faith to fit the facts. And that's what real Buddhism is. You can always bend your views to fit the new facts of life, and the other one bends the facts to fit the faith. In other words, this is what I believe. I don't care what you actually see out there. What is actually said. This is what I believe. That's it. It's fascinating actually, to see. Just know how when people get an idea, they will not change. There is, uh, a very famous, uh, experiment on psychology, which was done at Harvard University, uh, quite a few years ago now. And I often quote this because, again, Buddhism is understanding just why are we resistant to change, why we reject no positive criticism, why do we get upset and why we get so stuck in our own ways when it really hurts us? And it was a psychology of actually holding on to views what actually was. So what they did in this little experiment, they had the group of volunteers and they were in like a, like a movie theater and like a darkened room. And, uh, they had little pads in front of them with pencils. And the psychologists flashed a picture on the screen, and they had to write down what they thought it was. The point was, the exposure time of the image was so quick that it was just a flash, and you couldn't. No one could figure out what it was supposed to be. So they increased the exposure time incrementally. And each time you know that if they thought they understood what it was, they wrote down what they thought it was. Now, one of those images was, you know, it was the steps on a well-known building in a faculty, in a faculty building around the campus of Harvard University. All those volunteers, all students would recognize that if they had a long enough exposure, but because they had short exposures. One of the students know they saw an image there and they sort of guessed, yeah, that's a ship on the ocean. And then they increased the time of exposure. Yeah, it's definitely as a ship. Yeah, I can see it now. And the point was, there came a time, a length of exposure of this image on the screen when any normal person, when they saw that, would recognize that as the stairs going up to a faculty building on the campus. For this student, because they had the idea, their mind had already decided it's a ship. It took them a long time. The exposure had to be very, very long before they could see their mistake. The purpose of the experiment was to show how much like our views. When we form an opinion that blocks us from seeing something new, even when it's really, really obvious to us. And interestingly, in this research, the image which took them the longest time to actually see clearly was the image of two dogs copulating. And the reason it took them the longest time, because it was a disgusting image from, you know, most people in the United States. It was not the sort of thing they thought they should see. And so, because of their negativity to the image, it took them a long time to actually to see what it truly was. However, if anyone here know, I forget what the the time exposures were, but say it was put up there for a second that anyone here would see straight away that that was two dogs copulating. But for these, because they started off very early and they guess what it was and their guess was wrong, it took maybe about 2 or 3 seconds before they could realize their mistakes. It was very fascinating and revealing. Just as how her ideas and her views actually block us from seeing now what's really there. And this is the problem now with dogmatism. The problems of fundamentalism. The problems are just stubbornness and arrogance, which we meet very, very often in our world. Why can't people see? And why do you actually ask that question? The next question should be why can't I see? You have to internalize this. One of the great things of life and discovering truth is to realize this. Now as you look at others, other people look at you. If other people are stubborn, the chances are you're the same. Don't think you're different than other people you meet in life. You know, sometimes we always think we're special. Yeah, other people are stubborn. But not me. I'm reasonable. And especially if you're a Buddhist. Yeah, we Buddhists are tolerant, you know, not like those Christians or those Muslims. But ask yourself, always challenge yourself that way. Because otherwise sometimes you are being dogmatic and you're not really being fair. It's an example of this, which is it amazes me that, uh, some years ago people were taking these photographs. You know, when especially is a Buddhist I'm talking about and they went to some of these holy places, like in India and even here and now. And again, you get these little spots on the, on the images. And people were going around and say, look at these. These are like really weird and strange. They look like little circles. And sometimes you get many of these and they say, wow, these must be Davis Buddhist angels. And that was really interesting for me when I first saw these. But now if you ever look on the internet under orbs, orbs, you found these all sites that these app actually occur all over the world in places where Buddhist divas would never go. No self-respecting diva would be seen in a pub on a Saturday night, but some of these orbs appear there, and it's fascinating. When you first got this evidence that there you actually see that, you know, in in places like, you know, UK, they think there's evidences of ghosts and all these paranormal sites. Hey there, at last we got photographs of real ghosts in United States. Many people take them to be UFOs. Aliens. And when you start seeing this, you think, hang on, what's going on here? Unfortunately, that people have done the experiments. This one guy did an experiment. He took the camera before, and then he just banged the floor and took the photograph afterwards. And he got all his part. All these lights now in his photograph. It does particles and even Fujifilm on their website. So does they. That's all they are. They're just dust particles and nothing else. And even the streaks of light. This guy was doing his experiments. Sometimes he photographs with streaks of light. I think, ah, this must be something magic. I found it was like like hairs sometimes like spider webs which were floating down and many places there. And he actually just got these little hairs and took photographs of them identical to sometimes what you see in these photographs. So it's very, very clear that these things are natural phenomena. However, people still no, no, no no no, these are David's. You know why? It's because it was caught on their film. Or it was around them, or sometimes around. Know their favorite monk or favorite? None. This is why sometimes the power of belief is just terrible like that. There's no my teacher, Ajahn Chah, the great Ajahn Chah. There's some times that people just wanted some sort of magic from the teacher so much because they were disciples of Ajahn Chah, and sometimes, if they were disciples of one of the other monks, all the other monks did see them. They were actually levitating. There's a story of one of these monks sojourn when that he became famous, because the jet fighter pilot in the Thai Air Force saw him at 30,000ft, sitting on a cloud. Now, if that happens to their disciple, you're saying, Ajahn Chah, what is he doing? I wish he could be seen up there because I'm his disciple. It gives me some more credibility. So actually, what happened with Ajahn Chah on this one? And this is a very typical example, that one day that it was the the day he was giving a talk on the in Sri Lanka poya days, Taiwan fa, the Sabbath days, early times of his monastery. It was during the rains retreat of the Wasser, when the monsoon was coming down, and a devoted disciple was driving in their car to listen to the talk. And as they got into the monastery because of the heavy rain, because of the dirt road, they got bogged in the mud, not wondering, not knowing what to do next. And through the rain, through the window of their car, in the pouring rain, they saw this monk come out from the forest, and they looked at him as Ajahn Chah and Ajahn Chah himself pushed their car out of the mud. Now that's a humble monk who doesn't mind getting wet, who can actually help other people. Doesn't matter if you're a big monk or a big abbot. You can push the car and get mud and wet and soaked. That's what a real mud case. They were very, very impressed. But the real compassion of a monk. So they didn't need to get wet. But then it was only about a couple of hundred meters to the hall where they would go and give the talk. And there they saw Ajahn Chah sitting there, completely dry, not a speck of mud on him. I thought, wow, that John Charles left his body. I made a double body like in the matrix and actually pushed our car out out of compassion. Not only is it compassion, this guy's got psychic powers. We've seen it our way. And that story went around. It still goes around to this day. Even though the one who pushed the car, his agent Python. He actually came here a few years ago. Agent Charles cousin, who has looks alike. He was a novice at the time. He said no, it wasn't. Actually it was me. But no matter how many times he says that, people still will not believe they said no. It was Agent Charles psychic power because they wanted to believe so much. Now, this is the problem with criticism. Doesn't matter how many times people criticize us, if we want to carry that hemp, it doesn't matter if we see gold there, we will not throw away that hemp. To carry up the gold is far more valuable and worthwhile, simply because now what we want to believe and why did it? Would they want to believe that because they were a disciple of that monk. It was their ego. They had a vested interest, their pride in believing their teacher had psychic powers. That's why the stubbornness, the arrogance, the inability to receive criticism is very much connected up with our sense of self. The stronger our pride, our arrogance is, the more there will be in reject any form of advice or criticism from people. Which is why I read in a psychology review and I still keep in contact with this, because I like to use modern science and modern psychology just to reinforce, you know, the message which you see from Buddhism 2500 years ago. Now, how to live your life and how to deal with people. It's a bit of psychology. Told me what I knew already that if you do want to criticize someone, you got to butter them up. First of all, flatter them. So, and this is great advice on how to deal with your boss, how to if their bosses, your wife or your husband has many types of bosses in this world, or your bosses, myself or whatever, you're going to flatter them first of all, because when you flatter them all, it's like massaging their ego, and then afterwards you can actually criticize them and it's amazing just they will listen then. Because it doesn't. You know, you've already approved of their sense of identity. Know who they think they are. We know you're okay. You're my friend. Yeah, you're really great. But there's a little thing which is just messing up a little bit. People would accept that then. Now you try that before you actually criticize and say your son or your daughter, you know, 13 or 14 year old because they're misbehaving, because that's their nature to do so. Well, you know, your wife, your husband, your boss or whoever it is and you know you have something to say to them. Now, if you really know a kind to them, focus on some good part of them, some part of them which you really respect and which really is respectable. It's amazing that afterwards that criticism which you have to give an along and eventually then you slip that in. It's amazing how they would accept that. So it's the same as you would accept it, but someone comes up straight away and said, you're really ugly. You're sort of stupid. You're terrible. And of course, we won't accept that. We reject it. We reject the criticism. We won't even look at it. We won't even entertain the possibility. It is true, because it's too much of an attack on our sense of self. It's wonderful to know that your sense of self is always changing, will always change. Now it gives me an opportunity to snow one of those very funny stories. And there's only a limited number of funny stories I have. So if you come here every week for the last five years, you'd have heard this before for sure. But please don't criticize me for that. And that's that's a wonderful occasion. When I think it was Oscar Wilde. He came out of a club in London one night, totally drunk, and he was this Victorian woman, or early Edwardian, and a aged woman passed him by and looked at him, you know, just staggering out of the club and to the London street and said, sir, you're drunk. And his reply was, madam, you're ugly. But then, you know, he's a very smart man. He said, the difference between us is in the morning I will be sober. The very clever putdown. But the reason I mentioned it now was it actually actually shows you the reason why telling a person you're drunk didn't really hurt that much, because, you know, he'd only be drunk for a couple of hours and then it'd be fine again. But telling someone you're ugly, you know, that really hurts because it can be ugly for life. Unfortunately, as a Buddhist, even ugly for this life doesn't mean you're going to be happy the next life. So even that's temporary. As long as you know that the sense of self is always changing, then whatever criticism you get, you don't take it so personally. Which is one of the reasons why, as a Buddhist, when someone criticizes, say me and say you are stupid, do you actually ask? This is one of the the ways we're taught. You asked what is stupid? What about me is stupid? Is it? My body is stupid, you know. Oh is it my memory is stupid or my consciousness is stupid or my will is stupid. Well, actually, this is saying stupid mean. But what you're actually doing there, you're taking away the idea of like, a self. Like there's something terribly wrong and eternal me, a soul is self, which is stupid because if you have that idea, like a permanent essence, who you basically are. If someone calls that stupid, then that is a big worry. Because it's, like, even worse than being called ugly. It's not like in the morning I'll be sober. If you're if you have a sense of self and your sense of self is defective, then you're stuffed because you'll always be ugly. You'll always be stupid if there's that permanent sense of self there, that permanent me. And this is actually the the, the basic reason why people just reject any type of criticism because they take it as a criticism of their essential being. So when I say, you know what's stupid now? What's ugly, what's ridiculous? That little investigation sometimes stops the whole rejection, the whole idea that they're criticizing me and instead you understand they're not criticizing me. They're criticizing an action, a speech, something I said, something I did, but that is not me. You're actually separating out the action as something which is maybe a one off or two off to make the point again. Uh, again, a very old story, but a very beautiful story. You know, the old simile of the two children in the supermarket checkout two children, the supermarket checkout, one child drops a jar of honey smashed on the floor about the same time I see. I don't know if I said it's here very recently, but I say this overseas a lot. The other child parallel counter at the same time drops a carton of milk smashed on the floor. The mother of the child who dropped the honey said, you stupid boy. The mother of the child who dropped the milk said, that was a stupid thing you did. And there's a huge difference between those two responses. First, the mother is saying, you stupid child, as if the whole being is stupid. And I'm sure you've heard that criticism yourself many times personally and how it feels. You stupid wife. You stupid mug you. That's it. The whole thing is stupid. And because you believe there's a me in there, a self in there, you do really feel bad about that. And that's the time it becomes unacceptable. So a lot of times you just react back. You call me stupid. Let me tell you a few things about you. You reject it and it gets into an argument against the bitterness and eventually you even get into a war. But instead of that, the other response, that was a stupid thing you did. Now, that's far more Buddhist because that's focusing on the act and that's true. Yeah, I did a stupid thing, but it doesn't mean I am stupid. So when you take away the sense of self from the criticism, it's not a permanent thought in me which will be there forever. This is like Oscar Wilde being drunk to be sober in the morning. He's not permanently drunk, although sometimes some people in Australia seem to be that way. I'm not sure, but let's not get into that this evening. But certainly you can understand if you do make a mistake, that's not always going to be you. That's just the action. That's just it's a mistake. That's the error. So it does not matter so much. It's not a personal attack on your essential identity. It doesn't really matter. You are not defective. As long as you realize you're not defective. And it's just an action which somebody that which you've done it which may have been right, may have been wrong. Then you can actually listen to it. And to get to that point, that's why saying some positive things about that person before you criticize them. Just makes it quite plain you're not criticizing their essential identity. It is one part of them. One little act which may have been mistaken. If they do that to someone else or they do that to you. Then you can actually accept it by accepting it. Does that mean you just believe in it? It's at this point where, you know, I was bring up a famous saying, if someone calls you a dog, which is a personal criticism. You should always look on your bottom to see if you have a tail. And if you haven't got a tail, you're not a dog. End of problem. But if you have got a tail, then you say, oh, thank you sir. You're right, I never noticed I am a dog. Woof, woof, whatever it is. But I understood from when I taught me that it didn't mean that. You know, just if people call you a dog. If people say that was a stupid thing you did, you actually. Look, you know. Have I done something stupid? As long as it's not a personal criticism of your essential idea of self, like a permanent statement, you're defective. Just focusing on the action. You remember. It's just focusing on 1 or 2 actions or wrong speech or whatever. Then you can accept it, then you can examine it. And yet if you have got a tail criticism, you say, thank you, you know, thank you for pointing out I never realized that before. Thank you so much. However, you know, you look at it and I'm sorry you made a mistake. And a lot of times the criticism which she receives are mistaken because a lot of times that you just people just misunderstand your motives or what you did or your constraints, which you had. No, I know there was like an abbot as a spiritual dictator, director of the Buddhist Society of WA. There's actually a president. He's coined that word spiritual dictator many years ago. And I liked that word. But you're not a dictator. But, you know, sometimes you're constrained with the choices which you can make. It's not easy actually, to please everybody. And so you will upset somebody, and that's life. But when actually you get judged. Some people it's so unfair. And trying my best. I can't do more than that. Which is actually why the wisdom comes up to and say, yeah, it's okay, though, for people to criticize you and criticize you unfairly because that's just the nature of life. To be criticized unfairly. Happens to me, happens to you, happens to everybody in this world because it happens to everybody in this world. It's par for the course. It's not something gone wrong. So you don't make a big deal about it. So if somebody says you're stupid, you're an idiot. You know, you did a terrible thing. I don't know, why do you do that? That's really bad. That's really wrong. Number one, you realize that's not the whole of you. There's much more to you than that. So it's just an event which I criticize it, not the essential you. And if they're wrong, you just let it go. Thank you very much. But at least you listen. Now, a lot of times that people do listen just the same. When people criticize you and you reject it. You can't reject it that easily. Sometimes you think about it. Were they right now what they said? No. Was that really true? Is there a problem there? If someone says, you know, you're a dog, you know, look at my bottom. I don't find a tail there. But I look a couple of times later on just to make sure people actually do listen. And that's a very important point with the way one sort of criticises positively your children. It's so many parents come up and said, my teenage son doesn't listen. He does listen. He just does not admit that he's listening, especially to his parents. Because that's just not a cool thing to do to admit your listening. But they do, and they think about it. But the point is, with a parent, don't keep pushing the point. Now just say it, understand their listening and then see what happens afterwards. If it is a good idea, they've got to figure it out themselves. And yeah, they will follow that. So this is actually how we understand that criticism actually works. But with it's us we have to listen to it. And if it is really a better idea, they point out our fault. My goodness, that person is helping us become a better person no matter what their motive was. If it's really going to help us become wiser, kinder, more efficient in our job, a better parent, a better worker, a better monk, thank you, thank you, thank you. The standard which I always like to take again now from the early time of Buddhism, was now the Buddha's right hand monk was a monk called Sari Puta, and one day he was going on arms round in the morning. And this little snotty novice, maybe 10 or 11 years of age, came up to him and said, you're badly dressed. Now, remember, this is like in this sort of the respect of Buddhism, you know, even in these days, that was like a very high monk. And this was like the lowest of the, the monks in the, in the line. I was like, you know, you're the CEO of a company and this is another person who cleans the toilets. You know, saying that something wrong with you. Now, what would you do? Most people get so egocentric. Who are you to tell me? But for this. So, Peter, he just looked and said, yeah, you're right. And he went behind the bush, adjusted his robes, came out afterwards, and from that time onwards he called that little novice teacher, which had even in our rules of veneer, we're not supposed to do that, you know, as we have this sort of rules of hierarchy, whoever's a senior, you've got to pay respect to them. But this was a great example. It doesn't matter who you're taught by who points out your faults. A person who really respects no truth, no growth, nurturing would always say thank you to someone who pointed out a fault in you. And this is actually where the arrogance disappears and the humility comes up so that we accept that criticism. We look at it if it makes sense. We accept it. We say, thank you for pointing that out to me. What a wonderful world that would be. The safe in your family. Now, the wife pointed out a fault in you and you didn't see it and say, oh, thank you so much. I never knew that the husband was open to such positive criticism as well. Imagine what a world would be like if Mr. Bush had heard that criticism say, oh yeah, I never saw that. Thank you very much. I still dream, I live in fantasies, but nevertheless, you can understand where we're getting it. That way we're working for a better world. We actually listened to each other and we grow. And one of the biggest problems in our current world is that people just don't listen. They go behind their dogma, which is their ego. And some people there don't take an ego just themselves. You're not telling me that. It's my group, you know, the group egos. And I'm the Muslim. I'm the Buddhist now I'm the Christian. This is my church. And you can't knock our church now I'm an Eagle supporter. And so you don't tell me the Eagles. I'm going to win the, you know, the grand final this year. Whatever it is, people identify with these groups and they make a sense of self with these groups. They just don't listen. So the point of this talk is that when we understand more truth, especially not to ally our sense of self and ego, you know, with, you know, these views we have and with these actions which come from our views, we're more open to change. When we're more open to change, we're open to growth and we're open to growth. We're open to happiness. We can have a happy world, but we have to let go of our sense of this permanent sense of self, which is so often rooted in the past and is not open to evolvement and growth. There's how many, like dogmatic religions, are rooted in the past, how dogmatic ideas. You know, in in politics are just rooted in the past, well past their use by date. But people just will not let them go for something better. And how many of your ideas are rooted in the past? You just will not let them go for something which is better. Why is that? Because that past. Are there your roots? Who you think you are. Where you come from. That's what you identify with. Maybe one of the reasons why Australia is a reasonably tolerant country is because we've all come from other places, and sometimes we are rootless. When we migrate to Perth. And maybe because we have got that roots in the homeland where our ancestors grew up. Maybe that gives us an opportunity to be more open to letting go of the past, more open to. So change to growth. Maybe that might be a good case, that maybe you can only live in a country for about five years, and you've got to migrate to somewhere else. That's actually what we're doing. My monastery at serpentine. The monks can't spend more than two years in one hut. They have to move somewhere else to another hut. In that movement, there's no rooting down. When there's no rooting down. It's just making quite sure that, you know this idea of impermanence and change. It's important to recognize, to accept, and even to celebrate change. However, most people, they celebrate stability. This celebrating that things always being the same. I remember when I first read the, uh, Tolkien's book, you know, it was actually The Hobbit before Lord of the rings. Then if any of you remember that story, I think it was Bilbo Baggins was having his his eleventy first birthday. Not 11. They called it eleventy first birthday. And they were having this big party for him. And I think the wizard, what was his name? Gandalf came to actually with his fireworks and stuff. This was in the book. And I remember that. I think Gandalf, at the end of the party gave a speech and he slipped on that ring and became invisible. And people really found that objectionable. The reason was because his hobbit parties always followed the same form year after year after year after year. They gave the same speeches, and now he did something different and they hated difference. It's amazing how many societies actually hate change how they like. And this is our old traditions. This way. It's always been done. It has to be done this way forever. Like many people here, they always, as I said before, come in here. They've been coming here for years. They always sit in the same seats, the same side. No, no, some people sit that side. Some people always sit that side. So people sit at the back. Some people sit over here. This is my chair. Why do you do things like that? And don't look at me. I have to sit in this chair. I've got no choice. But last week I was in that chair. So I do chase that again. Because one of the other pillars of Buddhism is like impermanence and change. Now all things are subject to change. They flow. They are ephemeral. And you can't sort of stay in one place too long because you know you are getting older. People are getting sort of born. Things are changing. Why can't we embrace change more? When we actually embrace change in our own bodies and celebrate getting older and celebrate the little things, the changes in our life, the changes in sort of our even in our mind, our brain to celebrate Alzheimer's when it comes. What a wonderful thing. I don't have to remember anything anymore. I don't know. I always say that Alzheimer's is the only problem with Alzheimer's is to the relatives of those with dementia. They're the ones who get challenged by much more than the person themselves. I don't know if that's true. Maybe when I get dementia, I'll forget I ever said that. But anyway. The why can't we embrace change in our views so we can not have to be so perfect? And that way we can be open to criticism. We can listen. And when we listen, we may hear something which is going to be make us grow further and more closer to something which is good. Why can't we understand that the idea of impermanence and flow gives the opportunity for growth, for growth to the better? We don't accept change. We always tend to slide in the opposite direction to know to things which are just worse and stagnant. When a pond is stagnant, it gets very smelly and even toxic when it flows. It's always fresh. Why can't we have a mind which always flows? This can let go of the old hemp. How to get the hemp and cloth to get the linen. To get the silver. To get the gold. Why, if he were so stuck. So when we understand those two, two of the basic functions, or to the basic core teachings of Buddhism, the chain, this non-self is not a solid entity in there. So he can accept criticism. Who they criticize it. They say, I gave a stupid talk. That was for yesterday, not me. Now what is changing? Or why can't we also accept that change? Because that's a way of growth. We can leave aside the past. We can forgive it and let it go. Because what is guilt anyway? Is hanging on to all criticism which is past its use by date. That's called guilt. And anger is holding on to the criticism of others, which again is past their use by date. Sure, they sort of no were really cruel or thoughtless, but that was yesterday. That doesn't mean they're called and thoughtless now. Why can't we allow them the chance of changing? Why can we allow ourselves the chance of changing? Because only in change can there be freedom from the past. Can there be growth? Can be the the inclination to the better. That's why that sometimes the criticism, when we understand what it truly is, is a very, very positive force. We should listen to it, see if it really fits, if they've got it right. What we can learn from it, embrace it and grow from it. Instead of always just rejecting it out of hand simply because we don't want a change, we're stuck in the past. We're stuck in an idea of ourself. We just don't want to see. I have to say that as a religious leader, because again, too many people have religion, especially out of politics and, you know, each one of you as well. Sometimes we're so unwilling to grow stick in the past. We have our dogmas. Even in science, we have those dogmas as well. And if that's what you have, the growth, the progress will be limited. And you can see just how people hang on to their past at all cost. Fighting wars, how many sort of no religions look to the golden age? Yeah. Years ago it was such a wonderful time. Even when I say that in my monastery, when I was a young monk, all my monks. Here he goes again when I was a young monk, is actually terrible eating those old frogs, frogs and rice and enjoying those mosquitoes. It's actually much better now because it's gross. So why do we linger on the past? Why can't we change? So all of you say Sri Lankans here today. You've come to Australia. You're Australians now. So who are you going to support in the World Cup? Cricket. I challenge you. I was born in England. How am I going to support? I was wonderful being changing. So I usually look at the results. What is the, you know, the the halftime score. Whichever team is winning. Yeah. That's the team I support. Yeah. Much less suffering that way. So we don't hang on to the past. You don't hang on to the views. And just so that we don't get hurt by criticism. Instead, we grow from the criticism. And if Buddhism is supposed to actually lessen suffering and create more happiness in this world, what a better way to create happiness in this world? To understand what criticism is. I'm not saying how to give it, how to receive it. I know that many of you here, you're so generous with your criticism to others. But you have to know how to receive it as well. So we often, you know, do generosity. But that's not what I'm talking about this evening. I'm talking about being on the receiving end. So when people criticize you, this is actually how you accept it. Just to sum up this. No criticizing you. There's no one in there to criticize my body. They're criticizing my ears. They're criticizing, you know, my brain. They're criticizing. It's just genes of brain. Well done by DNA. Nothing to do with me. So you don't take it personally. It's an act. And that whole criticism is a positive reinforcement if you know how to use it. Even if it sounds negative, you turn it into positive reinforcement by listening, checking out if you have got a tail. If you deserve that, then listen even more. If you don't deserve it, just let it go. Then made a mistake. People make mistakes. Fair enough. Oh, the last thing about criticism is when someone really is criticizing you and it really is over the top, which is very often. And they're really getting angry at you. This shouting at you. What a wonderful strategies is. Actually, this is not how you deal with criticism. It's helping other people out of compassion when they finish in finished scolding, you don't take your opportunity to defend yourself straight away. Pause for about 30s. When I finishing shouting at you, scolding you, berating you. Just be silent for a short period of time. Give them the opportunity to hear what they've just said. Because what they finished. And then you start. They lose that opportunity. But if they scolded you, and then your quiet for a little while. They're not listening to you. They'll be remembering, reflecting on what they've just said. And very often they realize what a stupid thing it was they've just said. Or just how unkind, ignoble it was to use such strong language and given the opportunity to reflect by pausing, given that 30s of silence. It's a very beautiful way of allowing them to space to learn. Not trying to teach them. Because again, many teachers even now say that teaching is just facilitating the person's innate learning ability. And now by giving them the space, they listen, they reflect and they learn something. The same when you're criticized, if you want to get angry, just wait and listen to the crowd. Let it soak in. First of all, rather than reacting, who are you to say that to me? And that way criticism becomes positive and is not so much anger between peoples. There's more growth, more learning, and it's also just more openness amongst every human being, every man and wife. And most importantly, what I'm really concerned about every religion as well. So we're open rather than having these big iron walls, not allowing anybody or any other idea into us. So the higher criticism, the topic of the talk today. Thank you. Okay. Has anyone got any comments okay. Or criticisms about what I've just said. Any comments about this evening's talk? Yeah. Go on over there. Yeah. Yeah, it's a hassle. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was, uh, there's our tradition. And, uh, one of the reasons is usually you're supposed to sit. These were actually made for meditation. So when you sit still, they don't fall off. But, you know, usually when I'm giving a talk and this is just basic, um, public speaking, you've got to engage the audience. So I'm looking at you. If I'm answering your question, I'm looking over here. It's not only is that really rude, but it means that, you know, I'm not engaging with you when you're giving a talk. You have to engage with the audience. So that's why I do move around backwards and forwards. When you move around backwards and forwards. Come on. There it goes. That's why it falls off. That is par for the course. It's impermanent and it changes for what it. Is that really answer your question? Huh? Okay. That's fine. Okay. Heather. Yeah. If ever you look at, uh, ancient, uh, paintings of either the Greeks or the Romans about 2000 years ago. This is actually how they would wear their their togas or their cloths. It's just it's a very early form, a very simple form of wearing that covering just a square piece of cloth. Just roll off and just throw your shoulder. So it's really simple. And any of you this this is a bed sheet. So you don't have to have so many things. It's great when you have things for your purposes. Uh, some are some Buddha back, a wood, a bag, a Watanabe wadding. So, uh, Qatar. Oh, what are the more? The magnum. Asami. Sir. Patty. Pan of a torso. Like a single sun kind of mommy.

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