Scratching In The Wrong Place | Ajahn Brahm

Scratching In The Wrong Place – Ajahn Brahm (Robot generated transcription – expect errors!) So this evening's talk is probably a mishmash of many, many things decide to title afterwards when we find out what we're going to talk about. But the just a couple of people have been asking me this question the last week and this is going to be the start of the talk. I'm not quite sure how it's going to work out in the middle and the end, asking me about sort of is Buddhism a religion or not? It's such not a common question. I thought I'd just answer it as I usually answer most people to say that Buddhism is regarded as a religion or one of the major world religion these days it's different than many other religions. But what it's actually doing is actually succeeding in changing the meaning of the word religion and actually giving religion a good name. Because in the past people have associated with religion, with religion, with dogmatic beliefs, with actually adherence to a hierarchy of being told what to believe, being told what to do and also with like wars and sort of fundamentalism and terrorism and. And of course that those of you who've been here a long time that know that there's no terrorists in the Buddhist society of Western Australia and that we're far from fundamentalists. And there's also the hierarchy is not really there because instead of like a hierarchy, there's like a heart hierarchy. In other words, the final authority is not myself or some other book or teacher. But the final authority in Buddhism has always been your heart, your own understanding, your inner knowledge. And very often I've described like the old forms of religion, of old forms of Christianity and Islam and other such religions compared it with Buddhism in that story of when I was 30 years ago, when I was traveling in India, was going up to Kashmir and overland. And in those days, the roads were very narrow, only single lane dirt roads going through the mountains. And the driver of the bus in which I was on was a Muslim. And every time that he went speeding around these blind corners with a cliff on one side and a ravine on the other side, it was very, very dangerous. And every time we asked him to slow down, he always would say, if it's Allah's will, we go over it's. Allah's will said, thank you very much. We're not Muslims. And after that experience, we survived. Thank goodness, that's obviously Allah's will that I became a Buddhist and was managing to teach. And these days, what we actually say, that a difference. Well, one of the major differences is if that buz did go over, the Muslims would say it was Allah's will. The Christians would say it was God's will. As Budhists, we would say it was a bad driver. I think most Christians and most Muslims will now agree with that. The responsibility is with. We don't go around blaming other beings. We don't go around blaming our teachers. We don't go around blaming anything. If we have had a bad meditation, we don't blame the people who coughed. It's not their fault. It's your fault. Got an email from somebody who was raped when she was five years old. If you're suffering, it's not the person who raped you. Fought. Now, that's a hard one, isn't it? But this is actually Buddhism. Putting the responsibility right back on yourself, not blaming others. One of the favorite teachers teachings of Rajyancha. Very simple. But be careful with the most simple teachings. They can be the most profound. And you can use that one teaching to get you all the way to enlightenment. That your whole life. Solve all your problems. Every problem you can solve by this one simple teaching. Bye. It's a teaching about complaining. Complaining about what happens to you in life. Complaining that somebody else's fault is like having an itch on your bottom and scratching your head. What a powerful, deep teaching that is. If you go if if you got an itch on your bum and you scratch your head, does the itch go away? Of course it doesn't. It's so obvious. If you complain to other people, complain about life, complain about this, complain about that does the itch ever go away? Never does. In fact, the more you complain, the more you itch you, the more you scratch your head. As well as eating on your bum, you also start eating on your head as well. This is the problem with life. We create more suffering than we need to. So Zajan Cha's. Great teaching. If you've got an itch on your bum, that's the place to scratch. Nowhere else. The itch, the unhappiness, the suffering, the pain of our lives. If that's inside of us, that's where we've got to do the scratching, not somewhere else. So Buddhism is a religion? Yeah, but it's changing the meaning of religion. It's giving the responsibility squarely on oneself. One's own happiness and one's pain does not rely upon other people. And it's a great teaching of Buddhism. It actually gives, like, hope, an opportunity. No matter what has happened to you in your life, you can still be fully enlightened. You can still be free. You can still be happy. You can still be at peace, no matter what has happened to you in the past. Now, the way to actually achieve that we have all this beautiful Buddhist psychology, buddhist understanding of the mind. As I was saying last week, the mind is the forerunner of all things. Your mind is the forerunner of all things. So you don't need to go around looking to change other people's minds, to change the whole world. The mind is the forerunner. Your mind is in control, full control of your happiness and suffering. That's why you can become enlightened no matter what's happened to you. Some monks come up to me and say, oh, well, yeah, maybe it's all right. Vajam brahm. Maybe he was born maybe he was born sort of with a bald head. Maybe he came out of his mother's womb in full lotus position. But I didn't. People think that you're born enlightened, let's know. If you were enlightened, you wouldn't be born. Everyone is born stupid. That's why I have to come back here. No one in their right mind would get born again. Would you want to be born again? Would you really want to be in Nappies again? Would you want all those of you think you've done with school, do you want to go back to school again and go through all this all over again? Haven't had enough yet. You know, one of those famous stories, people actually kids who were speaking when they were born, as it's two or three examples which people have told me their children, when they were born, one or two weeks spoke. And the best one was reported in United States in a maternity ward when a baby came out of the mother's womb and in front of the doctors and nurses spoke clearly. And the words it said were, oh, no, not again. It. Great bay with a sense of humor. I like that. Usually the babies, after speaking just the first time, they don't speak again until they speak in baby language later on. Just a remnant of a past life. But anyway, sort of going back to sort of like being responsible for our happiness, it gives us the opportunity to be come enlightened. It gives us the opportunity to be free. If our freedom, if our happiness was dependent upon others, if it was dependent upon good luck, good fortune, being wealthy, being brilliant, being beautiful, being talented if it was dependent upon that, then most of you think, oh, I've had it. I'm old, I'm ugly, I'm stupid, I'm not really talented, I'm not wealthy, certainly not wealthy. So poor me. But the point is that no matter what's happened to you in your life, no matter how you were born, where you were born, what race, what gender, sexual orientation, whatever, everyone. Can become enlightened. Everyone can become free because it's your mind is the forerunner, the chief. It doesn't depend upon other people. And that's why that sometimes we use extreme examples of people who had terrible life, terrible history who have been the victims of sexual abuse when they're very young who have been the victim of poverty, who have been the victims of violence who have been the victims of deaths in the family tragedies in their life. We use these as examples of how even though terrible things has happened, they can still be free and happy. Because a few people sent me emails on such things. How can we be happy? They can't sleep at night because their mother died breast cancer. How can I be happy when I meditate and record all these terrible things which happened to me as a child being sexually abused? How can I be free and happy again? This is how. Well, Buddhism says that first of all, your mind is the forerunner of all things. That's where you look at the problem. You don't try and solve the problem by seeking revenge, getting your own back, punishing the person you think has caused you pain, that's scratching in the wrong place. Let them be dealt with by their karma. Again, in all religions, if you're a Christian, you think that God will settle things after they die. God will settle a matter when they sort of go up to heaven or hell or wherever. If you're Muslim the same that Allah will look after things, you don't need to punish them. And if you don't believe in any if any, if you believe in Buddhism, you say that karma will deal with it in the next life. They'll have to suffer the consequences of their ill actions. You don't need to punish them. And if you don't believe in any religion, believe in psychology. Wow. For what they've done, they're going to have to be in therapy for lifetimes. Whatever we know there's consequences of our deeds and there's consequences of other people's deeds. So that's, first of all, no need to try and punish the person who's hurt. That is scratching in the wrong place. So you scratch in your own place. You start to look, say, okay, this has happened to me. One of the first things which we do is and I mentioned this actually in a talk I gave two or three weeks ago about obsessions. We actually focus on the rotten thing which happens to us to the exclusion of everything else. So it completely fills our mind in every moment of the day. The death of our son, the death of our mother, what happened to me when I was young. That's all we ever see is the simile of the hand being right in front of your eyes. So close to your eyes you can't see anything else in the whole world. For those of you ever listen to this on the internet or on tape, I've got my hand right over my eyes. In this hall there's maybe 300 people. I can't see any of you. All I can see is my hand. This is what happens to us when we get obsessed with something in our life. Something which has happened to us, some terrible tragedy which has happened. And. Because of our delusion, the wrong way of thinking. We hold it so close to us. It's my mum who's died, it's my daughter who's committed suicide. It's my body which has been violated by this terrible person because it's mine. It's so close to us. It's like putting your hand right in front of your eyes. Literally. You cannot see anything else of the whole world. Day after day, month after month, sometimes year after year, you're consumed with the grief, with the pain, with the tragedy. You cannot see anything else. And with a simile of the hand, you understand just how to overcome that pain, that grief, that victimization. It's not the actual act which is the problem. It's not the bent which is a difficulty, it's where you're holding it. Perspective is wrong. All I needed to do to be able to see you all is not to actually get rid of my hand, not actually to get rid of the problem and think it didn't exist, but to put it in the correct position. My hand belongs at the end of my arm. So I can see my hand, but I can also see each one of you as well. I can see the beautiful budha statue outside in the entryway. I can see the garden. I can see life as well as my hand. When we see the sexual abuse when we were young and all the other things which happened as well when we see the death of our mother and all the other happy moments we've had as well. If we see the cancer in our body and all the wonderful other things which lie in front of us, which lay behind us, which are happening now when we see the whole thing in perspective, we put it in perspective, then we find that we can cope, tolerate, learn, grow and even be happy in spite of what's happened. Because we see the big picture too often. People have the problems. The cough which is disturbing our meditation, it obsesses our mind. And people actually sometimes complain afterwards. Ajan Brahm, can we get that camera to screen everyone before they come in here? So no one with coughs is allowed in. And anyone who coughs gets 50 lashes of the cat. Not for those nose. 50 strokes of the cat. You got a cat lives next door. You have to stroke it 50 times. You. That's a Buddhist punishment. Can we do that? And of course not. The point is that, okay, so some people coughed. How many moments did people not cough it? And that's the most important thing. Put it in perspective. At the time you had a tragedy, how many moments wasn't there a tragedy in your life? When you put things in perspective, it gives the full picture of your life. It gives a full picture of the world you find yet tragedies do happen, but happiness happens in between as well. When we focus on the whole picture, then we find out, hey, it's not so bad. It's not so good either. It's just life. Welcome to life. This is what happens. What do you expect of life? The thing is that when we only see the false, we just can't tolerate it. It's just too bad when we see the good things and only see the good things, we're just being stupid. When we see the full picture. Yeah, there's the good and the bad and they side by side. We can tolerate and we can learn. This is, again the thing with Buddhist psychology. We actually use the problems of life as learning experiences to free our mind. We learn from all of the pain and trouble of our lives. These things. Whenever there's suffering in life, whenever there is a tragedy, whenever you have been raped, abused, mistreated, cheated, really bad, badly, real great pain. In Buddhism, we always call them growing pains. Opportunities to become enlightened, opportunities to learn and. To let go and to realize that there's two sufferings in life. First suffering is physical suffering. The second suffering is mental suffering. And of those two, physical suffering is so small, the mental suffering is the important one. Physical suffering. You got little control about life. You get coughs, you get colds, you get sicknesses, you get cancers, you do die. It's part of life. Welcome to our life. But the mental part, you have got some control there. And that control is learning how to let go and accept. And you find that when you let go and accept, you can be so peaceful, so happy, and have some of your best meditations when people are coughing. I had a wonderful meditation and thank you for all those people who coughed, because they reminded me that you can't control. You have to let go. And that's the way to peace. And that's the way to freedom. That's the way to happiness. I remember my teacher, Ajan Cha, had one of the greatest meditation experiences of his life when there was a big festival in the nearby village. And years ago, when they had these festivals, they got generators which made enough noise, but those generators were there to power speakers and those speakers were there to broadcast this music for kilometers around. And there was a so, noisy. And it was during one of those ceremonies or those festivals in the village that he had one of his deepest meditations in the noisiest of situations he couldn t stop the noise so he let go of the noise not the noise outside, but the noise inside. I don't want this. I don't need this. Can't we get a quiet a monastery? Can't we sort of get individual meditation cubicles air conditioned where you can actually control the temperature so you can just get just nice that is what we call the stream of the world of wanting, controlling, getting it just nice, getting it just perfect. Called it the stream of the world but I also called it I gave meditation retreat and I made a slip of the tongue. I said Buddhism is going against the stream of craving going against the stream of the world. And I said it's going against the scream of the world. And I thought hey, that's very profound and. Because Buddhism does go against the scream of the world. I want this or I don't want this. Those are the two screams of the world. I want to be rich, I want to meet the most beautiful person in the world, someone who really cares about me, who likes me, who always understands me. I want to meet the perfect partner in the world. I want to be rich, I want to be successful and be famous. All the wants you want in the world. I want my footy team to win. I want to win the lotto. I want my kids to do well at school. Want that's called the scream of the world. That's one of the screams of the world. The other scream of the world is I don't want. Why did this happen to me? This is unfair. This is really mean. Why do you do this to me? Why did she say that to me? Why is life so tough? Why do I fail my exams? Why don't people like me? That's a scream of the world. You know those two screams of the world I want, I don't want. Buddhism goes against the scream of the world. And says, shut up. Stop complaining. Scratching in the wrong place. Even when terrible things happen to you, you use lovingkindness. You say thank you. You say, the door of my heart is open to you. The rape, the violence, the sickness to death. Thank you for coming to visit me. Strange thing happens when you do this. The most beautiful expression of this is the old story from the Udana. This is part of the Buddhist scriptures. If you read the Udana, it's not quite the same as I say it. I've changed it a little bit. But the heart of the story comes from the Buddha himself, the old story of the demon who came into the emperor's palace. It's a great story to remember and tell your friends, because it solves again many problems. A demon once came into an emperor's palace. The emperor was away doing some business elsewhere. This demon was very ugly, very terrifying, very smelly. And his language was extremely offensive. In fact, it was so frightening that all the guards, the ministers, the people who worked in the palace froze out of fear, allowing this terrible monster to go right into the heart of the palace and sit in the emperor's chair. The. As soon as it sat on the throne, all the people in the palace came to their senses and said, who do you think you are? Get out of here. You don't belong here. This is our emperor's chair. If you don't get out soon, you'll be in big trouble. They started threatening this demon. Now, this is the important part. Every unkind word, every unkind deed, even every unkind thought that demon grew an inch bigger, more ugly, more smelly. And the language got worse. And that really made them even more upset. They got out their swords, they got out their sticks. They started threatening this demon, saying terrible things would happen to if it doesn't move its butt right now. It. But at every unkind word, deed, or thought, the demon just again grew an inch bigger, more ugly, more smelly, and more offensive and. According to the story, this had been going on a long time before the emperor came back. And by this time, that demon was so huge, it was taking up half of the throne room. It was monstrous in size and also monstrous in appearance as well. In fact, as I usually say in the story at this juncture, it was so terrifying that even somebody like Steven Spielberg couldn't even imagine anything so terrifying and ugly. And the smell coming off this demon would even make a maggot sick. 6s And the language would be worse than you'd hear on the terraces of footy match on a Saturday afternoon when everyone was drunk. It was terrible. And at that point, the emperor came back. Now, the reason this was the emperor was because he was smart, he was clever, he was wise. He knew exactly what to do as soon as he saw this terrifying demon sitting in his chair and. He said, welcome, oh demon, thank you for coming to visit me. Why has it taken so long for you to come? Are you comfortable in that chair? Do you want some more cushions? Has anyone got anything for you to eat yet? Or drink? Thank you for visiting me. And those few kind words and kind thoughts that demon grown each smaller, less ugly, less offensive, less smelly. And at that all the people in the palace knew their mistake and knew exactly what to do. They had to be kind. So they went around and asking the demon what it would like to drink. We've got fruit juice, we've got tea, we've got herbal tea, we've got Earl Grey. What would you like? Would you like some sandwiches, seeing as you're a monster? We've got some deviled ham or are you a vegetarian? Would you like a pizza? We've got monster size we can get out for you. Somebody gave him a foot massage. No reflexology. It really relaxes you and makes you feel good. And the monster actually said, well, can you massage my back? Because the scales were very, very sore with such a big head on the tailpine. So someone gave him a massage. And every kind act, kind word, kind deed that demon just go an inch smaller, less like, less offensive, less melly. And it didn't take long with all this kindness. In fact, even before the pizza boy came back with his delivery, the demon was back to the original size when he came in. But did they stop? No. They kept on with the kindness until that demon got so tiny, so infinitesimally small. The one more act of kindness, and that demon vanished completely away. That's how they got rid of the demon. And when the Buddha told that story, he said, we call those things anger eating demons. What a beautiful concept, an anger eating demon. The more anger it receives, the more and more monstrous it becomes. The more ugly, the more smelly, and the worse the language comes from it, the harder it is to endure. Can you recognize anger eating demons in your life? Your husband, your wife. The more anger you give them, the uglier they get, the worse their language becomes. The boss at work. Cancers. Their anger eating demons. They live on tension, ill will anger. Do you? Get out of here. You don't belong because they're sitting in the throne of your body. That's why sometimes they don't disappear, because you get angry at them. Your past, your history. The rape which happened to you when you were young, the death which happened in your family, the terrible tragedy which happened in your life. Get out of here. You don't belong in my life. They're sitting in the throne room of your past and you want to try and get rid of them. If you give those things anger, you find they go an inch bigger with every angry thought. They become more offensive, more smelly, harder to bear. Those are called anger eating demons as well. It takes incredible amounts of guts and courage, but it's the only way to say to your past, no matter what happened, including the rape, including the violence and abuse, including the death of a loved one, and say, welcome. I welcome you into my life. I'm not trying to get rid of you. I can't get rid of you. This is a past, an event which has happened. The more you try and get rid of it, the more it grows as a big problem. When you say welcome when. How can I incorporate and embrace you in my life then? That's when that problem starts to grow, and each smaller and less offensive, less ugly, easier to bear, you start to incorporate it in your life, allowing it to be working it into your life, embracing it, saying the door of my heart's even open to you as well. Unconditional lovingkindness means no fault finding. This has happened. I'm going to be with this. I'm going to make it my friend. When you make it your friend, you don't necessarily like your friends, but you learn from them. You appreciate them, like your teachers. You've heard me say before Rajyan Shah's, great advice. I hated mosquitoes. They would bite you to death in Thailand, especially when there was no mosquito coils. There was no mosquito repellent. There was no mosquito nets. And you had all this bare skin as a monk, bald head, no protection. We didn't have these jackets on bare shoulders. And you were supposed to be tough and just sit there and allow these mosquitoes to bite you. And I was taught to spread lovingkindness to all beings. We used to chant every evening may all beings be happy and well. But that's not what I said. And it I said may all beings be happy and well, except mosquitoes. I could spread lovingkindness to other people, but not to them. Just like some people here. They can do loving kindness to everybody except their wife. Everybody except their husband. Especially everyone except their ex. May all beings happy and well. But not my ex, not what they've done to me. But that's not lovingkindness. Has to be the door of my heart's open to every being mosquitoes. Even though they're biting you unconditional lovingkindness even towards those people who've hurt. It's incredible when you can actually make that jump of courage, faith, whatever you call it, and you can make your enemies your friends. Some years ago, I described this in a meditation for having a circle in your mind. Inside a circle in your mind is all the people you like, all your loved ones, and all the things about life you like, and all of your past which you like, and all the future which you think is going to be good. Everything you like past, future, friends, about yourself, life all is inside your circle and all outside of what you don't like. And the further away from your circle, the worse you hate them, the worse you dislike them. I said in your circle. Imagine this circle inside is all stuff you really like, just on the edges you don't really like. But it's not such a big problem. And the further ways, the more the enemies, not just personal enemies, but the enemies you have in life, the enemy of the past, are those things which really happened to you, which really hurt your enemy in time, and all your fears of the future, your enemies of the future, and. The more you hate, the more you dislike them, the further away you are from your circle. And then your meditation. Start expanding that circle, imagining it enlarging, until it starts to incorporate all the things which you don't really dislike, you don't really like, which is sort of in the middle. Incorporate them into what you like, what you accept, what you embrace. Expand the circle even other, until you start embracing those people you don't really like at all. You dislike them, but not all that much, expanding it until you start including the things which actually you don't like at all, and expanding it until you get to the things you really hate, expanding it into the things you really, really hate, the terrible things which have happened to you. When you expand it, all that circle gets so big you can't see its edges, until it includes and embraces the whole of your past, the whole of your future, the whole of life, the whole of the universe. You allow it to come into the circle of your heart and. Lovingkindness. The door of my heart is open to everybody. All beings, all events, all of life. No matter who you are, no matter what you've done, the door of my heart's open. You get incredible sense of freedom that way. All you're doing is giving lovingkindness to the demon. The door my heart's open to you. And you find the biggest part of the problem gets smaller and smaller and smaller until it completely vanishes away. The rape which happened to you, the death in your family, the tragedy which occurred, the thing which you hate most about life, starts to get less and less of a problem. You're including it in you're, taking away what the Buddha called the mental part of the problem. I don't want this. Why did this happen to me? You're destroying that part of suffering, the worst part. And the demon just starts to vanish away. You incorporate that into your life and you don't become a worse person, but actually you become a better person as a result of those experiences. You may find this hard to believe, but actually you become enriched by experiences which other people think have just been so terrible and you become enriched spiritually. What we call it in Buddhism is like dung. Offensive, smelly, terrible stuff. As soon as you get any dung, let's call it straight shit on your hands. You want to wash it off straight away. But that dung, that manure, is great fertilizer. You dig it into your garden and you get beautiful flowers and trees. That's why those experiences in your early life or this life or whatever, when you learn how to enrich or dig them in, to your wisdom, to your compassion, to your understanding, to you dig them in. Don't throw it away. It's great fertilizer. It's smelly, it hurts. It's a terrible thing to endure. Your we all know that you dig that stuff in, really dig it in, and I can guarantee you're going to get some flowers. You're going to get some fruit and your fruit will be much sweeter than those people who didn't have those problems. Your flowers are going to be really fragrant because of what you've endured. And the fruit is so sweet. Not only did you give it to the monks and the nuns, I hope you give it to all your friends and they really enjoy it. Your hours not only go on the great shrines of the world, their fragrance is smelt by all your neighbors, they also enjoy, enjoy what you've achieved. What you've done is not just for you, it's for the happiness and well being of other people as well. When you've dug those experiences into your life, when you've been raped, under, stood, forgiven, let go gone on. You can really give to other people. You can give compassion, wisdom. You can give a way out to this terrible problems and suffering which people feel when you've gone through grief, terrible grief. You've understood the way out. You've done that. You've been there. You've walked the distance. You've come out with understanding, with freedom. Understanding life, love, kindness. Imagine what you can give to other people. Those are the fruits, those are the flowers of your life. The spiritual gift of wisdom, which can let go. Compassion, which is so strong you can love even the most unlovable events of your life. And freedom. Freedom, which is not when you get what you want, but freedom, no matter what happens. Real freedom. Freedom from the vagaries of the world. Freedom from the ups and downs of life. Freedom from happiness and pain. Real freedom. You're above and beyond all of that. You found the way out because this is what happens in life. Disasters do happen. Life is a mess. But your mind doesn't need to be. When we know the way out, the power of the mind, we know the spiritual meaning of life. The world is one thing. Your heart is another. Other people have done there, done that. They've been through such terrible situations. They found their way out and they've told other people how to also find their way out. They've given beautiful teachings like the simile of the demon in the emperor's palace about welcoming the pain of life in order that it disappears. Of loving the mosquitoes, of loving your past. No matter what's happened, you find you can do that. You find that's the way to freedom. Look, you can't change your past. You can't wish it never happened. You can't somehow go back into the past in some time machine and just solve all the problems. What you can do is stop scratching in the wrong place, stop complaining me start loving in the same way. You could complain all you liked about the people coughing during the meditation and all it would do would be adding to the noise of the meditation with your noise and. It. Instead, we let go. We're grateful for all those coffers, all those people who made the noise, for teaching us about life. The door of my heart's open to you all. That's why I can be at peace. You're allowed to cough. You're allowed to die. Life is allowed to go wrong. When I allow it to go wrong, it always goes right. It. That's what I expect. So when I expect things to go wrong, it's not wrong anymore. It's right that it's wrong. But I think that's a nice place to stop this evening's talk. It's right that life is wrong. Thank you. So that's a nice deep talk there about Buddhism is a religion or it's a psychology, a practice or whatever. I don't know what it is, but I certainly like it. Any questions? Yes. Quick one up here. Yeah. Beginning of your you mentioned about not seeking to find more suffering. Curious for an understanding of why the Tibetan Buddhist side tries to get a blade followers to go become Bodhisattva. I think the more I actually go to other places, associate with other monks, the more I see in the theories. There's lots of differences, but in the practice there's so much similarity even in different religions of the world. And really what we're doing in there with the idea of Bodhisattva is like focusing on the compassionate part of Buddhism. And you know, you've heard me say before that even within Terravada, some people say you should do Samata sometimes we passionate, you do Karma, do insight. There's no difference between the two. Even within a terravada religion. It's the same practices, it's just the emphasis. And when you do one, the other one comes as well. When you do Bodhisattva practice, you have to do the calm practice, the Arahat practice as well. You do one, you have to do the other really the same. It's just what we're really doing, that's all. When you realize that if you really cultivate your own mind in these ways, overcome your problems, as I said, then you're so rich that you have all this wonderful fruit and flowers to give to other people. She would become enlightened for the sake of all other beings. To help them, to serve them, to really show them the way out of the problems of life. Rape happens. It shouldn't happen. We should try and stop it and limit it. But no matter what you do, it happens. Cancers happen. We try and live a nice lifestyle, eat good food, exercise, but it still happens. Accident and sickness happens. So we have to somehow learn how to work with life as it is. When we work as life as it is, we can actually understand that this is for our happiness, our freedom. We understand how to overcome those problems. And then once we've understood then we can really teach others. We can help others. How can any one try and help somebody else if we haven't overcome the problems ourselves? We're just big hypocrites. Now, one of my favorite stories about Mahatma Gandhi when he was studying law in London and. This was in his biography even in those days was a very impressive person. The landlady where he was staying came up to him one day and said sir, Mr. Gandhi, my son is eating too much sugar. He doesn't listen to me but for some reason he respects you. Don't know why, but can you tell him not to eat so much sugar? He said, certainly madam, I will tell him today days went by. Two weeks later the landlady came up to him again and said mr. Gandhi, I'm surprised that you're usually so honest and so straightforward. Don't you remember that two weeks ago I asked you to take my son aside and tell him to not to eat so much sugar and you haven't done so why not? He said, I'm sorry ma'am, but I have told him but only this morning why did you wait so long to tell my son not to take sugar? Cause madam, said Gandhi, only yesterday I gave up eating sugar and such was the strength of that person. He would never tell anyone not to do what he was doing himself. He had to give up the sugar first before he felt he had the right to tell someone else not to take it. That's why he's such a strong and influential person. If you're going to be kind and help other people, you have to done it to yourself first. One of the reasons why we can't be kind to others, why we find we do get angry at others, is because we haven't been kind to ourselves. We haven't shown ourselves kindness. That's why we find impossible to be kind to others. We only play at it. But it's not real. Why we can't forgive others. It's basically because we haven't learned how to forgive ourselves. This is where we start. Once you enlightened yourself, then that's the greatest gift you can give to other people. And the greatest thing you could do to other people is to be kind, to be wise, to be compassionate yourself. There is no difference between the Arahat path and the Bodhisattva path. There's no difference. The best thing you can do for others is be aligned. The best you can do for yourself is the best for others. Best for others is best for yourself. So there's no real difference here. Isn't it wonderful to be able to overcome all the problems of your life to be free? You don't become free by getting rid of the demons. You embrace them. You become one with them. You love life. Not the nice part, not the bad part, but both parts. Then you're free. No problems anymore. It's easy, isn't it? If it was easy, you wouldn't have to come back again. So thank you for the talk, for listening to talk this evening. And I expect to see you back next Friday. If you really understood the talk this evening, you wouldn't need to come back ever again. So thank you for listening to the talk. Now we get some announcements from our president saul. Oh, sorry. Yeah, please. Yes, sorry. Yeah, I agree with you. Thank you for that comment. I did actually try and say at the beginning when I was given a story of the simile about the bus going over the cliff, I did actually mention maybe it wasn't strong enough or just didn't hear it, but that's only some religions or some parts of religion. And again, that many parts of what I'd call, like, modern Christianity and modern Islam sort of don't go towards that, blaming other people, but take more responsibility for themselves. And it's a very good sort of symbolism of going through a terrible experience and a resurrection is actually coming from oneself, not coming from another being transforming understanding what the problem and transforming the demon into your best friend. That sort of transformation is where freedom comes from. It doesn't depend upon a religion, because I started off with, like the religious idea is an authority of somebody else. The authority is yourself, your experience, your heart, and doesn't really matter what gender you are, what race you are, what sexual orientation you are, or what religion you are, what you ascribe to the human heart, whether you're a Christian, a Muslim, a Buddhist, or no, believe whatever is the same. Whether you're a woman or a man, okay? They say men are from Mars, women are from Venus, but the mind is from the same place. It's just the icing on the cake is from different bakeries. But what's actually underneath all that icing just, you know, the human heart is exactly the same. Doesn't matter what religion or race. That's why when you talk to the heart, you actually transcend all of the differences between human beings and even difference between animals and other beings as well. Call that heart the mind, the chitter, the essence of a person. And that's why you do get beautiful similes from different religions, different cultures, which you can always embrace as you put all together. So I really apologize if you thought I was putting down other religions, but I do put down other parts of religion, including other dogmatic, which are always like, holy to the now, which are always like, telling you what to believe rather than encouraging you to find out for yourself. So thank you for asking that question, a very nice question. And I apologize if I was offensive, because that wasn't my intention at all.