Episode Transcript
Procrastination / Hierarchy of Life’s Meaning by Ajahn Brahm
As I just walking in here just once again, not having a clue what I'm going to talk about. I said to this every week I should be a nervous wreck by now. Imagine facing another 300 people here and apparently about 25,000 people listen to this talk on the internet. And there you are. No preparation, not knowing what you're going to do. Uh, for the title of the talk, I don't obviously don't don't get nervous because I just enjoy myself. And that's perhaps one of the answers to how I think of 3 or 4 suggestions for this evening's talk. One of the first suggestions was On the Meaning of Life, but I talked about that before. And you all know the meaning of life. Well, perhaps you don't. Maybe I'll talk about it again. There was also that, uh, somebody was asking about their, uh, how should a Buddhist deal with animals for very sick? Should they be put down? I talked about that before, but I will mention that in passing, another person asked about separation. And there was an alter request. I, I haven't actually been taught about this about giving a talk about procrastination. I got that so request about two months ago and I'll be putting on. Giving a talk about procrastination. And anyway, why not? Because one of my favorite sayings is never do today what you can put off until tomorrow. I'm actually, you know, quite, uh, uh, in line with procrastination. And sometimes when you think about procrastination, that must be the opposite to Antichrist Nation. And I think I like Antichrist innately rather than procrastinating. But whatever destination means that sometimes. Why are we such so hard upon ourselves? What does he mean by procrastination anyway? I mean, we're we're not doing something. Why aren't we doing it? Because we think maybe it's not really worthwhile doing, or maybe not worthwhile doing yet. But anyway, just why do we do all of these things? We're compulsive doers, control freaks, perfectionists. Again, one of the sayings and I get into trouble for this, but I think it's a good saying to modern society when you go home in the evening and because you've rushed here to come and meditate, listen to the talk, and you see all those dirty dishes in the sink which need washing, always compare the dirty dishes in the sink with the number of dishes which are already cleaned and stacked up. If the ones already clean and stacked up are in the majority, you're ahead. So just watch a movie. Go to bed. Don't worry about it. But why is it that we look at the dirty dishes and we have to clean them up? That compulsive doing and perfecting everything. That's one of the problems where people have a trouble with procrastinating. There's nothing wrong with procrastination, and I think we should now have a pro procrastination society and I'll be their president. But also that saying, why do today what you can put off until tomorrow is a very good saying. We're all so stressed out, we do too much. And what sort of quality of life is that? Do you really think that's the meaning of life? Just getting things done and getting like a house, which is perfect. So when neighbors come in, you don't feel embarrassed or just no. Having all the dishes clean, all the carpets swept, all the gutters clean or whatever else. Gee, that sometimes that, you know, I think we've been I've been in Serpentine Monastery now for 24 years now when we even started the place, and a long time ago, people say, have you finished building the monastery yet? And I got fed up with answering because the answer's no. We're still building. We're building this afternoon. When is the monastery finished being built? Never. And this is one of the wonderful things. When is your your house finish being renovated? Never. When is the garden finished being perfective? Never. When do you finish learning things about life? Never. When will you be the perfect meditator? Never. Because if you think you are, then you've missing the point. And another point is this life is always going to be in change and unevenness, or the building is falling down. You just heard it there. So the point is that things are always in flux and always in change. And until we actually learn how to understand life and be at peace with it and accept it. But sometimes that we work too hard trying to change it, trying to make it into some ideal of what life is meant to be, and basically that this is what we we learn not to do when we practice a meditation. Now, when we teach meditation, especially in monasteries or retreats, when we really go to the heart of it, we say, just be where you are, be more fully where you are. Stop going somewhere. Stop changing things. Let go. Be still. Be at peace with things. Open the door of your heart to things as they actually are right now. It actually is a quite a radical teaching. In fact, the most, uh, 100% intense procrastination you could ever do is to sit down and meditate. You're putting everything off. You're putting your life away, all your worries and concerns away. You're just putting everything sort of on the back burner for half an hour, an hour. And you deserve that. And it's worthwhile doing. You really do put it off unless you have to do something. That's why I say don't do today what you can put off until tomorrow. If it's not really worthwhile doing now, then don't do it. Why do we do so many things? And sometimes you can see the result of doing so many things. Yeah, you can have big achievements in life and degrees and big houses, but what sort of person lives in those houses? What sort of person you know has got their degree? I know, are you really happy inside? Really, the degree should actually be inside. That's why the Nobel Peace Prize should go to monks and nuns. And there can we actually know what pieces? And that is a noble type of peace, not some of these other stuff which we hear about. All you know to yourself. When you get into deep meditation, we can give you a Nobel Peace Prize. But the thing is, we get Nobel Activity prizes. What most people do, though, is doing things are getting frantic, and you know what it's like when it's a person who's really frantic and it upsets everybody around them. Sometimes you ask people, why do you go to the nuns monastery? If you want to go to a beautiful park, want you to go to King's Park, it's much closer. Why do you go to the monks monastery and feed them? See that old enough to cook for themselves, you know. You know, okay, when you got kids, you feed them. But why are you feeding these grown up monks? Why do people go to these places? And I often ask them that. Why do they go to these places? And they say they go there because they feel peaceful. And sometimes being around a peaceful person makes us feel peaceful, makes us touched the meaning of life. Just talking with someone who has been to our monastery down at serpentine just last week, and they went to meditate for a few minutes in a meditation hall. Law is open there for people to meditate. And they say it's a nice, peaceful hall. And it is. It's got an atmosphere built up over 24 years of quiet people meditating there, and has some great monks and nuns sat in that meditation hall over 24 years. It's got atmosphere. What I found, I don't know how this works, what the physics of it is, but you're sensitive enough to that. Some places you go in this world and very still and peaceful and just go in there and it's easy to meditate. You know, what it's actually happened is that so much good and deep meditation has happened in those areas that it creates an atmosphere. It pulls you into that stillness, into that peace, into that calmness. And there's a few other places where you go, you know, that many of you go to these pilgrimages in India, or you go to some of these really holy monasteries in Thailand. You go in places where these other great beings have actually sat down and meditated, and I'm not sure what it is. Even I feel that it gets so peaceful and calm. Areas do have a way of stopping you. All those busyness and things and problems in your life, all those things which need to be done in those places of calm and stillness, they don't feel they need to be done anymore. Your whole priorities change instead of having to do something, which is why you feel guilty about procrastinating, you feel, no, I'm not going to do it. I'll do it later on. One of the great stories in that book of opening the door of your heart, and how it said this for a long time. It's a good story because it's coming up to our rains retreat in 2 or 3 weeks time. Rains retreat. You know, you notice here because the monks and nuns, we don't come up to give talks. Most of the time I will actually break the rule and come and give a couple of talks at the beginning of August and end of October, but usually we'd stay in our monastery. And this is a tradition where the monks stopped traveling and we stopped doing things. And in this particular story, there was this monk in south Thailand. He was building his hall, this big, uh, meditation dharma hall in his monastery. And it got to the rains retreat time. So he sent all the workers home. He wanted a bit of peace and quiet in his monastery for those three months, so he could meditate and maybe study. So all the all the builders went home. And during that retreat, a visitor came. They talked to this abbot and looked at this hall with no windows and no roof and rubbish all over the floor, and said, oh, when is your building going to be complete? When is it going to be finished? And the monk replied, it is finished. It is finished. He said, how can you say that? Said the visitor. Are you going to leave it like this? Is it some sort of modern Thai art? You have no windows or roof on. What do you mean? It's finished, he said. And his mark replied. What's done is finished. And he went off to meditate then. And I thought, wow, that's very profound. What's done is finished. So the next time that you're washing the dishes and it's time to meditate, it doesn't matter. What's done is finished. You can go off and meditate. Otherwise, however, are you going to find any peace in your life? What he was meaning there he gave peace. A higher priority than getting his building completed. And he said, well, look, when is it going to be finished anyway? You know, when actually do we complete things? And actually, the only time we ever really complete things and it's only physically is when you're dead. It's the only time you get all your business done. Or rather, what happens. You find that it didn't really need to get done anyway. All those unfinished ends which you had. So what? So a lot of times that our compulsion to do things is coming from a lot of stupidity, and it's not benign stupidity that really affects us and hurts us as we give completing our tasks a higher priority than being peaceful, being happy and sharing time. So with our family, the ability to say no, I'm going to put this off and do something more important. He's understanding what the meaning of life actually is. I just I did write a little piece for a conference I'm going to be going to in November and send it off way ahead of time, just because I felt inspired. And it was supposed to be the purpose of life. And in that little essay I was writing on a hierarchy of purposes, and how a lot of suffering and problems in life comes from not having the right hierarchy. Yeah, there's many meanings of life, but what's the most important meaning? What's the main purpose? And as long as you focus on what is the most important purpose of your life. And give that priority and the lesser purposes in life. You know, take no second in the priority list. Then you have a very wise life. Now, what is really important? Health. Happiness. Surely that's more important than sort of keeping your job or becoming rich or becoming popular? So one, sometimes I really wonder why do people wreck their health? You know, just because of seeking the job or keeping the job even even though it's causing a lot of, you know, heartache? No. Literally, you know, in the physical body and also their mental health. What are you doing there for what's really important in life? Get your priorities right, for goodness sake. And sometimes people keep on working when they're sick and they just end up in an early grave. Is that really what the purpose of life is? So we have to get our priorities right. That's why that you've heard me say here that when relationships, husbands and wives, parents and children. Why do we have arguments? Because we give being rights more priority than being loving and caring and compassionate and forgiving. I don't know why that is in our life, that we think being right is more important than these other things. Perhaps it's because of this ego business in the sense of self is pride just makes these priorities go the opposite way around. It's more important in life, you know? Not that you're right, but you have a happy time, a peaceful time together. And that's why, you know that old joke you don't if you're in a marriage and if you are wrong, you, uh, confess it. If you're right, you shut up. And that way that you never upset anybody. But whatever it is to make sure that you have the right priority in a relationship, what's the most important? And being right should be low importance than being loving, being kind, being forgiving, being caring. So as I say, I'm in a monastery. I have an easy life. Not when you just agree with the other monks. Even those those stupid things. Oh, that's all right by me. And they don't have any arguments that way. People see the truth for themselves after they are in the long term. So you don't have to be the one who puts them right, who turns them, you know, challenges their mistakes. You know what it's like when people are so picky, they're always disagreeing with you. And I don't know that sometimes that when you see people be married a long time, the way they speak to each other, you think, oh, there's two really nice people. Why do they speak to each other like that? I've got into these bad habits, and the priorities in life are all messed up there. Meaning the purpose has all been jumbled up. So we have hierarchy of purposes. I think the highest purpose is peace, happiness, contentment, fulfillment. So make sure that that's the most important thing in your life. Go for that first of all. And then the other things come secondary to your happiness and health. It's more important to spend time with your family. Let me. Years ago. Her story comes to my mind. There was one of the early pioneers of our Buddhist society. One of the 3 or 4 people who went all the way to Thailand to invite her western monks to come to Perth. And he left from here and went over everything. First to I was to New Zealand, I think. He was working in the hospitality industry, in hotels and had a really cushy job, you know, with a free apartment in this resort hotel somewhere in New Zealand. But being a very devout Buddhist, there was a Thai monk who was visiting there. And because of some problems there, the Thai monk, because he couldn't speak good English, had an attendant with him, and the attendant couldn't get a flight to New Zealand or had to go back to Thailand. And so this monk was on his own, okay, while he was in New Zealand, but on a journey back. To, um, to Thailand. He was travelling by himself and not being able to speak English is a big trouble. Actually, that same monk had. Damo told me this story. He took him to the airport, the old airport in Bangkok, some years ago, and they checked him in. And because he couldn't read the English on the boarding pass, they took him actually at another, took him to the, uh, where the departure gate was, is about to sort of say goodbye. And he found actually, instead of actually coming to Australia, they printed a boarding pass sending him to Riyadh in Saudi Arabia. I don't know how this happens, but it can happen. And this poor monk, he was a Thai monk who couldn't speak any English. He could imagine what would have happened. He'd have shown the boarding pass over there, sir, and I just pointed the way. And he would end up in Saudi Arabia. And they don't like Buddhist monks in Saudi Arabia. So it's very lucky that actually I saw the boarding pass just in time. But anyway, so you can see the importance of having these attendants sometimes, especially if you cannot speak English. And so they've had an attendant. So this Thai man. He asked his boss. Look. This is a Thai monk. You know I really respect him. Can I take a few days off just to send him to Thailand? I'll pay the airfare and I'll be back in about 4 or 5 days time. The boss said no, you can't go. It's a busy time. He said, now, look, this is really important to me. I don't ask very much. I need to sort of accompany this monk, you know, from Auckland, back over to Bangkok. It won't take me long. No. You can't. Said the boss when he said this time it certainly okay, I resign. He just gave up his job. It was more important for him. Has he to look after this? No Thai monk than to keep his job. And when he told his girlfriend, his girlfriend went ballistic. How can you give up this wonderful job? You can't get these jobs easy. You got a nice apartment as well. You're stupid because it was like a, um, Caucasian girlfriend wasn't interested into Buddhism at all. But he made his decision. He took that time monk back to Thailand, had a few extra days in Thailand because he didn't have a job when he came back. I think with 24 hours he got another job with a bigger apartment at this time with a car. His girlfriend was very impressed. So that's why you should always look after monks. It's always could come. And nuns as well. But the nice thing about that story, that that man had his priorities right. It was really important in life. And he was willing, actually, to sacrifice the lower priorities for what had most meaning for him. As many of you do when you really like a sick or dying, what is most important to you? Remember that because you understand what the meaning of life is. That life has many meanings, a hierarchy of purposes, and sometimes we choose the lower purposes at the expense of the higher ones. And that's where we get into trouble and suffering in life and afterwards. Why do we do that for? Wasn't all that important after all. And so that that gives us an understanding of what the meaning of life is, actually how we make up that hierarchy of purposes and how you can use your reflection. Use your meditation to look deeply what's most important in life, what's medium importance, what's of less importance? Understand that. See the big picture. Don't look at the importance of you know, the tasks today. Please look at the big picture. Because sometimes when people are just focused just on the the demands of, you know, today they missed that big picture. One of the good things about coming to a place like this is you can expand and sort of see those big pictures, and that's actually why we do a bit of meditation, to find that peace, to reconnect with what's most important in life. That's why I say that people go to those places like our monastery and in such peaceful places they say, wow, this is what our meaning is. This what I've been looking for, this is what really means something to me is things have different values, and sometimes our value lists sort of as all wrong. Now just having your football team win again on the weekend. That's not that important. That's lower in the list of values. What's more important is having a peaceful, happy day. So if your wife comes along and says, look, darling, can you please take me to the shops? You said of washing the footy. Please drive her to the shops. You can always listen to the footy on the radio. We have like a happier time that way because you know you're having no arguments. So whatever it is, if you remember what the most important purposes are and don't go for the lesser purposes, you understand how we create the meaning of life. And you always find you're very, very successful and very, very, very happy. But that meaning of life, you know, we have to get those perspectives and understandings. And a lot of times that people are what I was saying earlier, uh, in the meditation, we don't know about that peace which is born of freedom. That's the biggest meaning of the life for me, anyway, to be free. I don't mean free means you can't enjoy each other's company. I don't mean free means you don't have any responsibilities. But you know, to me, that's all that freedom is. Being able just to adapt to change, just to accommodate to whatever's happening, but keeping the underlying meaning of freedom and peace there. Uh, just, uh, saying at the beginning, when we're doing the meditation does about how many of us are tethered to the past or tethered to the future or tethered to thought, and we lose the meaning of life, the peace, and the freedom to enjoy our friends and relations in the moment. I do remember just, uh, when I about ten years ago when I went to visit where I was born and I spent, I had a free morning and just had a walk to the places where I grew up and I could. Being in London now, the buildings in London don't change. Actually, I noticed all the pubs where I used to go was still there, but many of the churches had disappeared. It was very interesting just to see what type of buildings remain and what type of buildings are no longer in use. So you can understand what the predominant religion in London is. But a lot of those places where I grew up, you could see the buildings were the same, but there was something missing. The time had moved on. The people had gone. Those moments would never be able to be captured again. It was actually a defining moment for me because in the fantasies, in the dreams, in the memories, the things were always the same. But that faced with the reality of a building where I used to live, but now with different inhabitants, in a school where I used to play, but now completely different children, and even visiting my last time visiting my mother. Who, as I have mentioned a couple of weeks ago, is now suffering from dementia, who could hardly recognize me. He looked at that and he said, my mother. Oh, is that another person? There was more. The second option, another person, because the connection with the past had been mostly severed. So fascinating to be able to sever that past and to free but still be kind. Sometimes that our connection between the part with the past serves only to limit us, to stop us growing in the present. Well, out of those old memories, those old pains, those old arguments. Exactly. Why can't we move on? It's interesting why people don't move on again, because their meanings are just skewed. The hierarchy of purposes is not really understood. They think that we have to deal with that past, that we have to remember. We have to right the wrongs. You don't have to be the one who writes the wrongs. Fortunately, no matter what religion you are, many people here aren't Buddhists, and there may be Christians. Or some people listen to these talks and Muslims because they're not allowed to come here, but they can always open up the web page on the internet. It's one of the wonderful things about putting these things on such a free media, where religious boundaries don't can't go. And so when people look at the past and all religions always realize that somehow, rather the rights will be the rights and the wrongs will be balanced, there is some sort of cosmic justice somewhere. They always say that it's like an al or a God or a Jehovah will right those wrongs. Buddhism, we say it's karma, will just balance things. But the nice thing about that is you don't have to be the one who does it. It's a natural process to work out by itself. What goes around comes around. As someone who's misused you, who abuse you, ill treated you. You don't have to be the one who seeks justice because justice is natural, automatic in spite of what you do or you don't do, justice happens. It's a very comforting thing in one sense, because it means that you have the opportunity to let go of that business. You don't need to be the executioner. You don't need to be the prosecutor. You don't need to do anything. You can completely let go and forgive. Understanding that whatever karma they did will come back to them. It's a beautiful little teaching because it gives you the opportunity to let go of your past, to forgive and move on. It's a great little thing because it means you don't tether yourself to the past, and a lot of times people find their meaning and their place in the past. As I said when I visited those old haunts when I grew up and I realized those places had changed, the outside was the same, but the internal part of it, the most important part of it, was completely different. It meant that no longer would I identify myself as being a Londoner. Or even being English. These days it's great. You know how much I travel, and sometimes I just really don't know where I belong. This is why. And this is how I feel whenever I go travelling. You go travelling to, say, Thailand. And that's where I spent nine years of my life and got so many friends and good memories there. So every time I land in, actually it's a different airport now. But every time I used to land in the old airport, I thought, wow, I'm coming home. See all those beautiful Buddhist temples where I used to hang out? Wow. Coming home. And then from Thailand. I'd usually take the next trip, maybe to England. And then as you were coming into Heathrow, you could see these little old pubs, you know, the quaint old English pubs, which to me defined that country. And I thought, wow, I'm coming home again. I can't go in them anymore. It's a bit of a shame, but never mind. I can look. I can look out the outside. And then you sort of go to another place. Like I spent a lot of time in Singapore. Now you land in Changi Airport and then you go along the. I was on the Marine Coast Drive, the East East Coast Parkway or something. ECP you go down there to visit your friends, say, oh, I'm coming home again. Now somebody go to KL. You're coming home again now. And then eventually you you come back to Perth and you're coming in in the aircraft and you can see the city through the window. Oh, I'm coming home again. And now a few times I've been to Sri Lanka and so you know, Sri Lanka, some of the home of Theravada Buddhism. Oh I'm coming home again to see all this beautiful monks and temples and pagodas. So sometimes I don't know where I belong, which is my home. Isn't it wonderful not to be tethered to a place, and not to think that your English, or your Australian or your Sri Lankan. It's great whenever there's a cricket match on. It means I can support any side. I usually wait until about half time while the lunch interval in cricket and find out who's winning and then support them. So that way you got more chance to be on the winning side. Doesn't that make sense to say within Perth here you've got the two footy teams the Dockers south of the river, the Eagles north of the river. Yeah I come in this centre here now I'm north of the river. When I'm in serpentine I'm south of the river so I can support both teams. The point being here is when you don't tether yourself to the past or to your places where you are born, you're free. You're actually. As I was saying last week, you're disconnected. You let go of something which limits you. And then you can be far freer in our modern world anyway. Just what does it mean to be Australians? Sri Lankan to be Burmese? To be English. Scottish. Irish? Welsh. Whenever you go across those borders, I never see the lines. Marks on those borders. See, people live from those borders. They go backwards and forwards exactly the same on either side. Why do we tether ourselves to these boundaries which are really just make no sense? Even the boundaries between religion. Do you tether yourself to being a Buddhist or a Christian or a muslim? You can see just how much problems that creates in our world. Just yesterday afternoon I was had a nice hour's chat with one of my mates, Rabbi Burnstein. Roshi Burns I used to be the, uh, the chaplain of Carmel School a few years ago, and he came along to talk about something or other, and he made a very wonderful point, because he's one of the 2 or 3 teachers in, uh, Australia of the Kabbalah, which is a Jewish mystical tradition. And now we were comparing some notes about what he has in our tradition, what we have in Buddhism, he said. There's something which he found really so similar to the Annapurna set of the breath meditation of Buddhism. And we're just talking to think that because Buddhism was the earlier tradition, had it earlier than the Kabbalah. Anyway, the thing actually came from Buddhism into that tradition. Or did people actually find these things out simultaneously? Right. Basically, that there's a possibility that, you know, the Buddhist tradition did go to that part of the world, but if it didn't, people will still find these things out by themselves. Because this is natural, that when you say follow the breath and you meditate, you become peaceful and calm. When you're compassionate and kind, it creates happiness in this world. When you let go of the past and you don't worry about the future, it gives you a sense of freedom and ability of being in power. It doesn't matter whether you're Buddhist or wherever you are. These are natural laws. The law of gravity just applies, whether in Burma, Australia, Thailand, or in the Islamic world. Whatever is a constant natural law which applies all over the place. And I think that these spiritual laws. Are also common. And sometimes we just need to go inside. And Rabbi Burnstein was saying that, you know, he was part of the Jewish mystical tradition. And now Buddhism is mostly mystical. Not always. You get the scholar monks, you get the philosophers and the social workers, but the sort of tradition you have here because we come from the forest, traditional meditators. This is, if anything, the Buddhist mystical tradition. If you go to the Islamic Sufi tradition, which was their mystical tradition, it's very interesting as a monk, when you go to the mystical traditions of all these great religions, you find there's so much in common. It is amazing and also very reassuring. The nature of the human mind, the nature of peace, the nature of nature, of compassion. This same no matter where you come from, what religion, what race, what gender, what sexual orientation which is does give a universality to the mystical tradition. It gives it higher meaning. And the reason it has that deeper meaning, it is because it's not tethered to anything. It's not tethered to a race, to a religion, to a gender or anything. It's free. What a wonderful thing that is to know that when you do and tether yourselves to things, it's not as if you're lost without sort of a a rudder. But you're actually more free. You come closer to the truth, the real meaning of things, a true peace. And thereby you understand what we're all doing here. What the real meaning of life is. So when we're flowing through life, you know, we you do let go of the past, but we also don't tether ourselves, as I said in the meditation, to throw out a line to the flip future. I don't know why people worry so much about what's going to happen next. There's such a lot of worry about global warming. There was such a when I was growing up. There's a lot of worry about nuclear war. I don't know if it happens. You got nothing to worry about. We're all dead. It doesn't happen. You got nothing to worry about. It never happened. Now that's fives. Why do people worry about the future so much? And a lot of times that you see, it's completely dysfunctional. It's just a wrong way of thinking about things. Sure, it's a problem, but instead of worrying about it, either do something about it or just leave it alone. But stop worrying. Worrying is this stupid option. That's one of the famous sayings. Rather light a candle than complain about darkness. You can do something. Do it. If there's nothing to do, do nothing. But don't worry about it. How often is it that when people in that situation they've got nothing, that they're in a problem, they think there's nothing they can do about it? Do they worry themselves silly? Now, that is, I think, the time where we can put a bit of effort, a bit of wisdom, a bit of letting go. So we're in a situation with nothing we could do about it. At least we could be happy and be peaceful. And just to let go, to not tether ourselves to the future. A few times I've been in that situation. You know, when you've been in trouble, you don't know what's going to happen next. You just don't worry about it. Something will happen. Something will turn up, and it often does. That's why, you know, that's saying if whoever is sick, dying in hospital, it has a way about anything. You'll either get better or you'll die. Either way, the sickness doesn't last. And you die. So what you get me, boy? To get. Have another body. Get it. Give it another chance. Why did people just get so tethered? You know, just to having it this way and not the other way. So when we learn how to let go of these things, we don't worry about much. As I've been saying in many of the meditation talks I've been given over the last year, when you look at it rationally, clearly, if you are really concerned about what's going to happen next in the future. Where is the future born? Where is it generated now? So if you are concerned about what's going to happen next. Put more attention into what you're doing now. This is where the future is born right now. So we care about the future by being in the present, by and tethering ourselves to this worry business. And that we can get the best possible future. That's also why the great piece of research I mentioned many times. United States sociologists did a huge amount of research and found the best way to be successful is to be happy first. Happy people are successful. So if you want to be successful in life, create happiness. And where can you create happiness now? Well, that reminds me because I usually tell a joke and I haven't told a joke the last couple of times to be happy. Here is today's joke. And this is courtesy of Birx, who was at a monastery. Who told me a nice religious joke. This man went to the hospital for an operation. It was a very nice hospital, a Catholic hospital, as many of the great hospitals here in Perth are run by the Catholics. And after the operation was successful. And when he got his bill, he had a bit of trouble. So he went to the accounts department, who was one of the nuns there, was working in the accounts when the Catholic nuns. And he said, look, I'm terribly sorry I can't pay this account. Can't pay the bill. And she said, well, haven't you got any family like a wife or a parent? He said, no, I've got no family at all, sort of, only a sister. But, you know, she's a nun. She's like a spinster like you. And the nuns said, Catholic nuns. We're not spinsters. We're married to Jesus. And this man who couldn't pay his bill said that me, that my sister is married to Jesus, too, because she's a Catholic nun. Yes. Said that nun. Your sister is married to Jesus, too. Oh, said this man, you can send the bill to my brother in law then. So that's today's joke to make you happy. And unfortunately, many times when I give these talks, that's all you remember. The joke. But anyway, getting back to the meaning of life and not tethering ourselves to things is when you can learn how to let go of the past again. You. You're much more free. And that's an important part which we do in Buddhism, especially in meditation, so we can get more meaning. And by developing positive qualities in this moment, like kindness, you know, to your family, giving them time, even though you think that the future's going to be terrible if you don't sort of get that work or that assignment in, or that sort of work done in time by the time you get to the office, no, on Monday morning, your family are much more important. Please remember that. Your health is very important. So you get sort of the contract signed, but the expense of a cancer or a high blood pressure. Is that really worth it? Well, you have some terrible thing happen to you in life. You know, sort of a divorce or loss of a of a loved one, or you've been cheated and abused and got into big trouble in the courts because the summer you never did. Is that a reason to stop yourself being happy now? It's wonderful how we can learn how to run, tell ourselves from the past. In the same way that you've seen children playing in the playground and having an argument and fighting. Once they have that argument, their little battle five minutes late, five minutes later, they haven't got an enemy for life. They're playing together as friends again. How do they do that? It'll be wonderful if we can take teach our leaders the wisdom of children playing in the playground. So we can have our arguments. Arguments are natural. We can have our friendship which is greater than those arguments. The friendship, the harmony. The peace is more important than carrying around the past. Carrying around the argument. Who's right? Who's wrong? Who did what? Perhaps I had a fortunate childhood. My father and mother used to argue, and sometimes they wouldn't speak to each other. Maybe for a couple of hours. But then they'd always make up in front of myself or my brother. And that's my memory of my childhood. My parents were human beings. They did argue. But after a while, I was usually out, and my father would make the first move and make out with my mother. And they kiss and say sorry, always in front of the children. So what I learned from that was how arguments happen. Two different people seeing things in a different way. But what's most important was seeing the resolution happened, and the resolution was never to say who was right, who was wrong. The resolution was. So let's put it behind us. Our love, our family, our peace are more important. The priorities were in the right place is that if for two hours they forgot the priorities and arguing with each other. Children in a playground, they have their priorities right. Friendship is more important. Why do we make such a big deal about what happened in the past? Because we tether ourselves to the past. We tether ourselves to our history, where we come from, what our religion is, what our race is, what our allegiance to, what particular footy team is, and how many times we create something for ourselves that way. Wouldn't it be best to support the team on the top of the ladder every week? Why? Is it just because you're from Perth? You can't support Essendon or whatever? I don't know who's on the top of the ladder now. The icon is support Geelong. You have much more happiness. You will support the team at the top of the ladder and always win the Grand final every year. We liked Hedwig ourselves. I think that's one of the problems in Buddhism. We call that the teaching of anatta. Tethering our sense of self to our past, to our religion, to our race, to our football teams, to our qualifications, to our abilities and that sort of tethering ourselves to things. It does give us a solid sense of self, but that gives us a solid sense of suffering as well. And the opposite, what I've been talking about this evening is basic Buddhist detachment learning how to let go, learning how to flow more, learning how to be like that balloon can flow through the sky. Never feeling the force of the wind is being a one with the flow of things and not lingering otherwise. How many of you have May moved from overseas and do you really miss your friends back home? I remember fellow who one of the supporters early. He was a Thai man and coming to live here in Australia. He missed Thailand so much he was always homesick. So I went back to Thailand and as soon as he landed in Bangkok. He missed Australia so much and he was one of these ping pong immigrants, always moving backwards and forwards because whatever place he was, he was always homesick. That's a silly thing to be. Instead of being homesick, she'd be like me. Just whenever you go, you're back with your friends. So instead of being missing, one place is being wonderful. You're in this place with all the family here. When you go back to where you were born, then you've got all your friends and family there. You can get the best of both worlds. What a wonderful thing to do when you're not tethered anywhere. You can enjoy where you are. You're never looking backwards. You're never looking forward. You're looking where you are and enjoying this moment. This is the only place where you can find peace and happiness and fulfillment, Liberation. Success. Now. So that way that a person never looks back, never looks forward, enjoys where they are, has a more free mind. Untethered, unattached, not lingering, not rushing forward, enjoying this moment. Wherever you are, whatever you happen to be, putting as much effort into as you can. When there's something to do, you give everything you've got. There's nothing to do. You can rest and leave it alone and make the priorities right in life. What's really important for you in life? What's the most important? Please focus on that. Then you understand it's not procrastination. You're just something is more important than getting these things done. Something is more vital than getting the dishes done. Or because you have this life, you have this day. Make use of it. Enjoy and make peace. I know Buddhism sometimes is seem to be like a too soft and too slow and to letting go, but I think it's a balance we need in a today's world. Maybe that's one of the reasons why it's becoming very popular, because we're so stressed out, we're so high achievers, and maybe we need the balance of Buddhism to bring us into line. So we can still achieve a lot in life. You only have to see how hard we work at serpentine and how hard we work here. And that again of what beautiful monasteries we're building. To see that we're not lazy. As Buddhists, we can work hard, and then we can just rest and not carry our burdens around. Whenever I go anywhere next week, I'll be in Sydney. Whenever I this is just during the week. I'll be back here next Friday to give the talk. Whenever I go overseas, I never carry my monastery with me. You're only allowed 20kg. And I'll be far too much of a burden to carry around. And I'd like to carry you guys around as well. That's wonderful. Wherever you are, there you are. And you don't carry the other place with you. What a beautiful life that is. We can just be. Enjoy this moment. Just giving a talk without any plan of what you're going to talk about. And as soon as it's finished, forget it all. Except for the joke, which I hope you enjoyed. So that's a talk about procrastination. The meaning of life. Uh, letting go of the past. What was the other one? Sorry, I used a lazy I forgot about the dog business. So, uh, because I mentioned that I'd better sort of say something about it. It's something I mentioned many times before. Those of you haven't heard it, if you know there is, uh, a dog or a cat, someone who is sick and ill. Please ask the dog whether it wants to to go. Actually, I got a letter from somebody, um, about this recently, and, uh, their son was the vet. Her daughter was a vet. And they say very often that, you know, they, uh, have asked by the owner to inject the animal to kill it. And actually, they have no qualms about that because they look at that little cat or dog, and the cat and dog are very intelligent. They know what you're doing. And actually they just lay their head in the vet's arms and they even if they were cat, they lick, lick the hand of the person killing it because they know that it's relieving their suffering. In those particular cases, I say ask the dog or cat what it wants. Because if you're the owner of that animal and you've lived with it for a long time, all you need to do is to make your mind peaceful and calm. Quiet still. Even if you haven't meditated before, you can do that. And listen. Ask the question have you had enough? Do you want to go now, or do you want to still live and then feel what the answer is in your heart? Intuitively? Don't think it, feel it. Whatever that answer is which you feel, that's what you go with. I've had great success with that. Uh, this particular person says, yeah, they can understand just how practical that is and how often they can feel. That cat, that dog. Thanks you because it's had enough. Other times, the cat, the dog hasn't had enough. There's one of the ladies who comes here. She's not here today. But she told me that she had a dog, took it to the vet, had very bad cancer. Doctor said gotta put it down. No chance at all. She heard me say this piece of advice. She took that little dog to a corner. Just ask her. Do you want to die? And made her mind very calm. And she got the feeling back very clear. No, it didn't want to. So she told the vet. No, I'm sorry. I don't want to be put down. And against the vet's protestations about you being really cruel and compassionate, you know, you're not really considering the animal's fear. He said, yes, I am. So she took it home. The animal made a full recovery. And this the the the vet was as stunned because he'd never seen that before. As far as the vet's knowledge was concerned, as an advanced cancer could not survive. This lady told me of her dog. Her husband was a peacekeeper in East Timor, and the dog considered it to be the protector of the family when he was away, would always be looking after the family. As soon as he came home, they noticed the dog had some trouble in the eye, took it to the vet and was riddled with cancer and the vet couldn't understand why that dog was still alive. Dog was alive because he had to be looking after the family. Well, the husband was in I was in the army was being a peacekeeper in, uh, East Timor. It's amazing to see the wisdom of animals. So if that's your dog or your cat or whatever else it is, you take it to the vet. Please ask. It is the animal's call not yours to say it should be or it should die. Listen to it. And convey the animal's wishes to the vet. You don't kill it. You just the conveyor of the message. So hopefully that gives some practical, compassionate, wise advice on what to do with the animals under your sort of care, rather your friendship, and it gives much greater meaning to life. Okay, so that answers the doggy question, I hope so. I gave a complete talk today and I didn't procrastinate and leave off answering that question to another time. So I hope you enjoyed the talk tonight. Are there any questions or comments about this evening's talk? Any comments or questions about this evening's talk? Yes. Always kind of a question for Lawrence. Confused about it this evening? The other. Is really. It's just saying about the differences and talks, which like monks, like me giving the monastery to monks. But what I give here, like on a Friday night, uh, to you wonderful people. I was going to say, you riffraff, but I should say things that do you wonderful people. Uh, I can't be elitist. It's, you know, some time ago that some of you actually listened to these, uh, monk talks on a Wednesday night here, and you've commented they're different. But to be able to give those talks on a Wednesday night, I have to make sure there's just, uh, hardly any visitors come into those talks a few times on a Wednesday night. On a Friday night here, I said, I'm going to give a deep talk. But you know you won't allow me to give one. By that I mean that when I give talks here, you know, I don't plan these talks. And I scan you when I'm giving these talks. Get a feel for where you're at and what type of talk is meaningful for you. And the talk is not just me giving the talk you're involved in this talk is my relationship with you. When I give these talks and you can't, I tried it, but I just can't do it when there's, uh, maybe 300 people here. The monks, even the nuns, even on retreats, I can give deeper talks because people have focused much more deeper on meditation and on ending things. They allow me to give such talks. You don't. Know. This is, uh. I'm giving talks for a long time. You feeling that it's not me giving a talk? It is a dialogue between us. And it's nothing. Just not me. It's you as well. So that's actually been very honest about how it works. Its way of life. His Holiness the Dalai Lama, you know, even give it like a talk at the Burswood. And it was, you know, I said, okay, talk. But it's not very deep at all because that's the audience there. So, you know, you have to have the audience, the speaker, there's a relationship there. And it's not in the speaker's power. No. To give a deep talk of an ordinary talk, it has to be just how it comes because of the relationship between where the audience are at and where the speakers are. Wow. Really? There are people up now, 1 or 2 questions that we have finished it. Yes. Put it in one. And one. Okay, so now you gave an example of bullying. And how does that fit in with the idea of like justice being natural? Or should you just let bullying go because the calm is going to come back to the bully, or if they're a Christian, are going to go to hell or whatever, get punished? Should you just let it go? It's the thing about the justice is the person who is doing the wrong thing. They the punishment part of it is unnecessary, but the protection of the person who's the victim, that is important. So it wouldn't be so much looking to punish the perpetrator of the bullying. But you'd be main motivation if that was me, was actually to protect that victim and future victims of the bullying. And so I'd be very proactive there, you know, trying to sort of find strategies, but not punitive strategies of punishing the bully, but protective strategies. So that's how I think of the situation there. It's the same as bullies in the workplace as people. It's not just in the school ground, but it's in the workplace, but is in the family, but is in the Buddhist society. I hope there's not. Remember, there's a bully. You know, we try and sort of it hurts, it harms others. And we want to sort of try and protect other people. So yes. Question. Yeah. Happiness then means of. Grounding. Yeah. Okay. So procrastination and telling your children to grab the moment do the best you can. You know that story I said about this? What's done is finished. The first time I told her here many years ago on Sunday, I got a very complaint. It was from a Sri Lankan parents. I don't know if they're still here now, but if they are, I'm sure they'd enjoy this. Because I told that story, you know that. I just enjoy the moment. Now, what's done is finished because otherwise you'll never get everything done. And they came on, started to complain because their son was going out on Saturday night to a party that was 16 year old or something. And the father said to the son, have you finished your homework yet? You remember you promised to finish your homework before you go out to the party. And the son said, as Agent Branham said, what's done is finished. See you tomorrow, boys. I really got into trouble for that one. But yeah, I mean, it's it's not to grab the moment. It's actually. Yeah, grab this moment. But how do you grab it? And now what are you putting into this moment? What's really important in this moment. And priorities are important. And sometimes that priority is just to give yourself a bit of a break and teach your children that as well. Otherwise, you just get some more stressed out people in this world. There's too many already. So teach them to be happy. They're growing up. They're young. Me? Kids need to go to parties. And I saw this genetically that children genetically are supposed to stay up late and get up late. They're not actually programmed to get up at seven, 8:00 in the morning. Which is why it's so hard to get them out of bed. You're fighting their genes. But you got to do it. So they've got to get out of bed to get to school. But nevertheless, you understand why. I won't understand why I can be more accommodating and more understanding, at least. And so what was the pressure on kids? I sure did that. You know, when they're young, they can really enjoy their time, their childhood, and have a good childhood. They can remember I just remember my childhood because there was not so much pressure those days in a great time, sort of playing soccer with your friends and wandering around the holidays was so long. No, you did well. You worked hard, but you also played well as well. You enjoyed your childhood instead of spending so much time working in homework. Is that what you want for your kids? Because when they're happy and content, not stressed out. I don't get too many psychological problems. And when they're six, they're happy. They always become successful. Somewhere along the line, they don't all have to become, uh, doctors or veterinary surgeons or dentists. And if they don't do well at school, they can become bricklayers and plumbers. And they make far more money than if they went to university. So anyway, that's the sort of answer. You. Will. Be wanting. To our culture. My daughter. My love. My son. So he can't apply for a job. Sara. Cassandra. Son. Find out more.
